Title

University Reporter - Intelligencer, Volume 1, Number 26

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Creator: Crying Out For Help, Inc
Subjects: Administration, People, Faculty, Students, Campus
Description: Major stories:
STD Quiz
First an(nu)al Reader Survey
Editorials
Viewer Mail
Dr. Andrew Barclay
Out and About
Reviews - The Cook, the Thief, his Wife, and her Lover
Entertainment - Orange Roughies, Beer on the Penguin, Sinead O'Connor, Hugh Harris
Date: May 23, 1990
Format: Text/pdf
Original Format: Broadside
Resource Identifier: A006372.pdf
Collection Number: Serial 990
Language: English
Rights Management: Educational use only, no other permissions given. Copyright to this resource is held by Michigan State University and is provided here for educational purposes only. It may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without written permission of the University Archives & Historical Collections, Michigan State University.
Contributing Institution: University Archives & Historical Collections
Relation: Serial 990
Text File: Download (14.13 MB)
Transcript: ---------------- ---- ------ -
This is our a er - he/ sha e it with the READER SuRvEv... • 3
23
May
1990
Vol. I
No.26
MSU's alternative
and truly
endent voice
What's shakin' :
We've got more
columns than Romel
Quit fiddlin' and read.. p. 6+
o Get caught Op: with is$ues... p. 4
o Our readers are always write... p. 5
o Check out (of) The Clydesdale... p. 9
o Fun Page... p. 1 o
o Our Reviews are always right on ... p. 11
o This is Entertainment... p. 12
STUDENTS LEARN
ABCs, FAIL STD QUIZ
BY SHANNON DRAYSON
UR·! ISSUES CORRESPONJENT
, What MSU students don't know about sexually
transmitted diseases might hurt them, according to
a recent uR-\ suNe'f.
In an effort to promote awareness and education
on the topic of STD's thrpughout campus, the
uR-1 last week conducted a random, non-scientific
survey polling100 MSU students on their sexual
behavior and STD's. The sample was comprised of
students ages 18-23 living in Wonders, Hubbard,
Williams and Emmons halls and Ceda:r Village.
According to the two-part survey - a sixquestion
STD quiz and personal questionnaire -
most MSU students do not have their facts straight
about STD's. (see related chart)
More than half of the students surveyed answered
incorrectly to four of the six questions on the
STD quiz. These questions were:
•The most prevalent sexually transmitted
disease in the United States is: a) syphilis; b)
Herpes Simplex; c) chlamydia; d) gonorrhea. The
correct_ answer is chlamydia, Which was missed by
more than 2/3 of students surveyed.
•Several precautions can be taken to reduce
the risks of contracting an STD. Some of these are:
a) use of a condom; b) limit ;your partner); c)
washing with soap & water immediately after
contact; d) a & b only; e) all of the above. The
correct answer is e, which was missed by about
two-thirds of the respondents.
•STD's involve different complications, including
death. Which of the following STD's can lead to
death? a) syphilis; b) gonorrhea; c) AIDS; d) only b
& c; d) only a & c; e) all of the above, The correct
answer is d, syphilis and AIDS, which was answered
incorrectly by more than half.
•Necking & Petting can lead into the contraction
of an STD. True or False? The correct answer
is true, which also was missed by more than half.
The one question answered correctly by
slightly more than one-half of the respondents was
'Which of the following STD's are not curable?
[!¥i] ~ lUJ ~ ~ ruJ cQ] ® m1 ~ ® o ~ ® ~ ruJ CID ~
~®lhJ CIDW o@IT'
source: uR-1 survey
Have had sexual Have had sexual
intercourse: 80% intercourse: 90%
Virgins: 20% virgins: 10%
First time having First time having
sex, ave. age: 17 sex, average
Had sex before age:17
entering college: Had sex before
62% entering college':
Lost virginity at 80%
MSU:36% Lost virginity at
Average number MSU:20%
of sexual Average number
partners:5.12 of sexual
Sex with partners: 5.6
stranger: 26%, Sex with
on average of 2. 7 · .stranger: 30%,
times on average of
Average number 2.78times.
of sexual Average number
partners in past of sexual
12 months: partners in past
0-2.5% 12months:
1·4-85% 0-5%
5·10-10% 1·4- 82%
10+-2.5% 5-10-9%
Protection: 56% 10+ -2%
report male using Protection: 74%
condom during report wearing
intercourse. condoms during
51 % report using intercourse.
birth control pill nole: some reported
note: some using condoms, pill,
reported using sponge, foams,
pill, condoms, jellies, and
withdrcr.val, withchws/ me/hods
foams and jellies
sflemstlely.
alternately
a)AIDS; b)herpes; c)chlamydia; d) a & b only; e) a &
c only; f)none of the STD's listed above are curable.
ft The correct answer is "d.ft
The only question that nearly all students
answered correctly was "A person infected with an
STD may have no outward signs of infection. True
or falser The correct answer !s true.
The quiz questions above were derived from
information provided in a Common Sexually Transmitted
Diseases brochure published by the American
Council for Healthful Living.
With the outbreak of AIDS - the almostalways
fatal STD that wipes out the body's immune
system - much attention has been given to STD
prevention and awareness. Chlamydia, genital
warts and herpes have reportedly increased to
epidemic levels.
According to a 1988 American Social Health
Association report, "an estimated four million
Americans get chlamydia! infections each year,
making it more than twice as common as gonorrhea
and forty times more common than syphilis."
So why are MSU students unaware of this?
Because students are guided by the misconception
that contracting an STD can happen, but not
to them, says Carolyn Fox, nursing administrator at
Olin Health Center.
"Some pe.ople think because they are in
college, or because this isn't New York City or San
Francisco, (safe sex) messages don't pertain to
them, ft Fox said. "That isn't true.
"Nice people get STD's, too. ft
Fox said that college students sometimes have
low self-esteem and feel obligated to "go along with
the crowd.ft The consumption of alcohol and drugs
also initiates irresponsible and unprotected sex, she
noted.
"Most can't recall what they did or who they
were with, ft Fox said.
The responsibility of having sex, Fox believes,
lies with the individual. Furthermore, she· says one
needs to continue to educate themself and be
aware of the consequences of practicing unsafe
sex.
Her message to students?
"You're responsible for yours (body and life) "
Fox said. "You're an adult. Be informed.ft
St.udents concerned about being infected with
an STD can be tested for free at the Ingham County
Health Department STD clinic.
Olin Health Center charges $16.50 for a pap ·
See sfos, p. 2
ALL current staff members - and those interested in working next year- meet at the uR-1 Sat. at 2:30 p.m.
-- ------
·university Reporter-Intelligencer 23 May 1990
FROM STDs, p. 1
smear and gonorrhea and chlamydia
tests. It costs $8.50 for the STD tests
without the pap smear.
Planned Parenthood, 1400 E.
Michigan Ave., charges between $0-
$30 for an STD infection check,
depending on the patient's weekly
family income.
Womancare, 201 1/2 E. Grand
River Ave., charges $30 for an office
visit The lab usually bills the patient
directly for the test cost.
- uR-/ CORRESPOMJENTS TIM LEPHEW,
BRIAN MARSHAU AMJ AMY KURAS
CONTRIBUTED TO THS REPORT. \l.i.V .6\ ·•w11 JUI
,, 11-,;- ~
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diai4 IJ MeU?
Let Us Help You Out-Come To.
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HAIR SALON
$9.00 Uni-sex Hair Styling
".4 ed II~ lfei P'liaed Bek-"
351~6511 • 549 E. Grand Rive
(next to Confection Conne<;tion)
M-F 8am-7 m •Sat 9am-2 m
'l'OU
PLANNlN~ A P~T'( ?
~wt NOT "°""'VE
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cafeteria
at the international center
For more information call Larry Lillis, 355-4550
HOURS
Mondoy·lhursdoy
7oo'.l0om co 7.00pm
fridoy
7 ,JOOm-4.00pm
Good Reasonably Priced Food ( •
With That Little Extra Care
MOVl>IG SALE:
ONKYO 2::> watt receiver
good condition ... $ 7 5
TECHNICS cassette recorder/
player ... dbx noise reduction ... $70
TECHNICS compact disc player ...
fresh tune-up ... w/remote ... $110
BOSE 201 direcUreflecting speakers
... still under warranty ... $130
$325 TAKES ALL! -
Assorted rock & roll compact
discs ... $10/disc
Assorted rock & roll cassettes ... $3
per tape
K2 5500 skis w/ SALOMON 747
bindings ... TOP NOTCH ... $27 5
(2) 14K gold chains, both 18"1
(l)herringbone, (1) rope ... $125 for
both
HONDO electric guitar. .. with
case ... $100
No Reasonable Offer Refused!
Call Steve at 351-4626 leave message I
,· • • • .~ ' t I t I t • I t ~ f/I • •
THE UNIVERSITY REPORTER-INTELLIGENCER Page Three
THE SECOND FRONT PAGE
~------·····································-~·-·····-,
1 Got some .spare time on the crapper1 Fill this out... 1
I I i First an(nu)al reader survey i
I I
I I
I TJlls Is your paper! So take this opportunity to probe our minds with this first uR-1 I
reader survey. Your responses should be sent or dropped off at I 142 Gunson St. They wlll be used to deftne next year's I
paper. So put up, or shut up. Just tell us If you dig I or If we should bury a feature by circling the I
I appropriate, heart- fen response. I
I I
I w{j] 0 il f?ww f? tD@flflJ o o o o I
1
1 Rancid 1
Did you know that: 1 I Raves I I •the uR-1 reaches more 1 I than 101000 readers 1
I weekly I
•Lots of • I . •we are cotnpletely lnde- I
-1 columnists... pendent and relY solely I
: D1G! OR BURY? on advertising revenue :
I Geek of the •the uR-1 ls avallable at I
I more than 60 campus 1
1 Week.... locatlons and 2 dozen I
I D1G! OR BURY? East Lansing and Lansing I
I Dr. Sex businesses I
I • ••• ' I
I D1G! OR BURv? •our staff works for free I
I I
I the Provoc... •about 2 dozen people I I D1G! OR BURv? Fun Page... THE UR.ii LITERARY work on each Issue I
I The Clydesdale.. D1G! OR BURY? SUPPLEMENT... •our staff has more pro- I
I D1G! OR BURY? Op.•• DiGI OR BURv? fesslonal experience than I
= Dog Boy... D1GI OR BURY? Reviews... the enUre State News =
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I D1GI OR BURv? D1G! OR BURY! . D1G! OR BURv? the ~per I
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~- .................................................. .
uR-1 SURVEY FINDINGS
complied by TAEBA BALDA•
Of 100 MSU students surveyed,
12".4 SAY THEY HAVE HAD AN
STD
· Breakdown:
CHLAMYDIA: 7 REPORTS
GENITAL WARTS: 3 REPORTS
GONORRHEA:1 REPORT
HERPES SIMPLEX: 1 REPORT
REDUCE THE RISKS
LIMIT PARTNERS
Having contact with one person
who is limiting contact to you only
reduces your chance of becoming
infected. If your partner is having
contact with others who may be
infected, the infection could be
passed on to you without your -
knowing it.
OBSERVATION
Don't be afraid to look before you
have contact. If you see any suspicious
sores, rash discharge or
detect a strong odor, discuss it
with your partner. What you see
may be highly infectious.
SOAP & WATER
Washing before and immediately
after contact can wash away the
germs. However, these germs
may penetrate the skin before you
have a chance to wash.
USE OF A CONDOM
The condom is one of the best
preventive measures against
these diseases. When put on
before any contact and properly
removed, it provides good protection.
URINATION ...
Urinating immediately after
contact can flush out some germs
(especially for the male).
REGULAR STDND CHECKUP
Based on your sexual activity, you
should have periodic STDND
checkups. Ask your doctor for the
specific tests for syphilis, goner.
rhea and chlamydia since these
tests may not be part of routine
examination.
SIMULTANEOUS TREATMENT
It is essential to notify your partner
when you are infected. Both
people should be treated at the
same time to avoid reinfecting
each other.
It's as simple as this ...
genitals
The virus is passed from the site of infection to
the site of contact.
Source: American Social Health Association
The Condom:
Don't leave
home without it!
It's not a matter of how much
money you have.
It doesn't matter which school
you go to or how high your grades
are.
It doesn't matter if you wear
designer clothes, live in a nice
neighborhood and drive a classy
car.
IF YOU HAVE SEX WITHOUT
USING PROTECTION, YOU MAY
CONTRACT ASEXUALLY
TRANSMITTED DISEASE.
It cannot be stressed enough
that people need to become responsible
when having sex. They
need to continue to educate themselves
on the topic of STD's and
take the advice of medical prof essionals
seriously.
This means wearing a condom,
limiting your partners, avoiding
direct contact with infected
persons, looking before you have
contact and getting regular checkups.
For those of you out there
having unprotected sex and
getting lucky, WAKE UP! Your
luck someday may run out. And
instead of coming home from a
party with a smile on your face
from a one-night stand with the
partner who "seemed like a nice
person," you may wind up in office
of a doctor who looks you sraight
in the eye and says, "I'm sorry,
you have AIDS."
Some one-night stand, eh?
Well, was it worth it?
While it is no persons right to
tell another person how to live
their life, it is everybody's right to
urge people to use protection
when having sex. So whether
you're having sex with 1 O different
people a week or one partner a
year, please, be responsible.
It's no secret how STD's are
transmitted - DIRECT CONTACT
WITH INFECTED AREAS. But
these diseases can be prevented
if people just think.
Condoms cost as cheap as 50
cents - that's one-third the price
you pay for a bottle of beer at the
bar.
the
university
Reporter-Intelligencer
23May1990
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23 May 1990 . university Reporter-Intelligencer • 5
uR-1 is crappy, too
DearuRt:
Well, well, uRI, I guess I was wrong
about you guys. I was all set to send you
a heartfelt letter about how crappy the
State News was, but it appears that you
guys are just as bad. The State News is
biased, as everyone knows. They are
racist in nature, and have by-passed the
FACT that the Spartan Football team uses
steroids. (Incidentally, I've known Jeff
Case for the past two years, and he's not
lying I)
I figured that I could voice my views
on the abortion issue to you guys but it
appears that you monkey-faces are just as
Pro-Child-Killing as the State News, if not
more. They, however, have an excuse,
whereas you don't. At. least they get
advertising funding fom Pro-Murder
agencies like Womancare (alias
"Womankill" or "We Don't Care1. To
quote you, "Abortion is a woman's choice,
no dispute over that:
Ask an unborn chi id, "Do you rrind if I
kill you?" Don't say they'd say "yes" if they
could talk. The fact of the matter is that
they can't talk, which is why us "A~iChoicers"
are stepping forward to speak
for them. Abortion is legalized child killing,
no disupte over that. So why don't you
Pro-Abortionists fact up to that fact.
As for your arguments in favor of
abortion, I've heard 'em all. Abortion is
called Freedom of Choice." Freedom of
choice to do what? To decide to kill an
unborn because you don't want that chi id
alive anymore. I've also heard it said, "if
you think abortion is wrong, then don't
have an abortion.· Sure, same logic
applies to stealing. I don't think stealing is
wrong, so I'll just break into you house and
rob you blind. It was my freedom of
choice. The weak arguments for abortion
rage on. Nobody wants to fad up to the
reality of abortion, because most people
would rather be able to conveniently do
away with unwanted life, and with a clear
conscience.
What angers me most is the total lack
of honesty. You mask the issue with
terms like "rights," "choice," and so forth.
Why the HELL don't you just admit it. an
unborn is a human life, whether complete
or not, and YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT
because it is so convenient to assume it's
not. Admit that it is a life, as it is, and just
say that you don't care, and you want
abortion legal anyway. Quit arguing that
it's not human and crap like that to justify
yourself. You'll go a lot further if you say,
"It's a life, but fuck it. If I wanna kill it, let
me kill it. It's my freedom of choice to ~ill if
I want to, isn't it?" Actually, it's kind of easy
to say that once you've already been born
and you're in the clear. So own up to the
fact that you don't care about human life.
do away with unwanted life, like the
German's did with Jews, like the Romans
did with the Christians, like the Americans
are doing with the unbc;>rn.
So think what you want to. If you're
honest about it, I won't stand in your way.
If you want a society that doesn't care
about life, then you can have it. but don't
cry to me when you look around youself
and see rape higher than it's e11er been
before, or that the divorce rate is skyrocketing,
or that you have about eight
different parents, or that you someday find
yourself worried because your own
budding teenager kids are screwing
everything that's warm and moves. This is
the kind of society you wanted. You got it.
So, you guys at the uRI haven't won
any points with me. Nor have you won
any points with unborn children. I will give
you credit for one, thing, though, is that I
know this little piece will get into print.
Even with a little raunchy license on my
part. The Stale News, on the other hand,
has a tendency to supress freedom of
speech.
By the way, tell the Provoc to go fuck
himself too. He's no philosopher, only a
few minutes of needless entertainment for
babies.
With all my love,
Phil Abramoff
Mathematics and Statistics
SFL Vice-President
Senior Graduate Teacher
1989-90
although the uR-1 ha• advocated a
woman'• right to control her body, that
does not mean we would not print
oppo11ing view•, and to that end invite
Mr. Ab111moff to aubmit any columnwith
photo -he would like. We do
NOT prevent oppoaing view• from
appearing here, aa any regular reader
knows.
-ed.
"Eat me, hard guy/"
-theProvoc
Boyd's a Noid
Dear uR~ ~itors,
I am a regular reader of your publication
and can usually enjoy your articles
regardless of my personal point of view on
the subject because your writers are .
C0fl1>9tent and state things in a meaningful
and understandable way. While
reading Mr. Boyd's article on the shanties
behind Wells Hall in your May 16th issue, I
couldn't help wonder what happened.
Where did you find this guy and what were
you thinking when you chose to display his ·
talent, or definite lack there of, in your
paper.
Within the first two paragraphs, Mr.
Boyd changes tense enough times to
leave any reader feeling as if he has just
entered some sort of a time warp and his
use of pronouns as water out of a tap is
enough to leave any half-brained person
confused. Yet after reading the entire
article I realized that it was all a clever ploy
to take the reader's mind away from the
fad that in reality Mr. Boyd's article has
absolutely no point at all.
In four short paragraphs Mr. Boyd
manages to introduce four c:Ompletly
different points, none of which have
anything to do with the other and tell us
nothing we don't already know. Beginning
. in the shadow of the State News he tells
us who the groups that have built the
shanties are and goes on to say that they
were built, "to educate and more importantly
remind students of events and
problems which they don't know affect
them," which again echoes the S1ilm
fmla. It is from here one expects Mr.
Boyd to go on and to finiSh his train of
thought, as he must have brought these
things up to make some sort of point,
when suddenly he tells that some people
think that the shanties are ugly. He says it
with horror going on to say, with mind
shattering convidion, "This is the American
mind at work.• Well, of course it's the
· American mind at work, as it is probably
the English, German, ?Russian, and
maybe even the El Salvadorian mind at
work too. The shanties .ilm. ugly. The
point is that they are supposed to be ugly,
and more importantly, it really shouldn't
matter what they look like at all since they
are meant to educate not become part of
an art exhibit, but does Mr. Boyd devote
one word to these ideas? Of course natl
He trudges onward to the freedom of
speech thing and the Adrrinistration's
"conservativeness.• He talks about
freedom of speech, when it is really
freedom of expression that is the issue
and thinks that we are going to be able to
make some sort of rational connection
between his calling the adrrinistration ·
conservative and the quote from the
petition. Maybe it is better that Mr. Boyd
didn't enlighten us with his original train of
thought. Gue~ing at this one seems
much moreintellectuallyfulfilling. The
paramount of Mr. Boyd's entire article
comes when he shares some sort of
vague prophecy of disaster if we fail to
realize what the shanties stand for and
mean, which Mr Boyd himseH has done a
wonderful job of not telling us. Last week
a reader told Mr. McWilliams to take a ride
on the clue bus. This week I think it's Mr.
Boyd's turn to hop aboard
Steven Matthews"
Greeks are good
DearuR~:
M .L. Elrick's article on May 9, 1990
was extremely unfair to the Greek system
Contrary to his unfounded opinions,
fraternities and sororities engage in
phi'lanthropic:adivities throughoutthe
entire year. They raise thousands of
dollars and help hundreds of people.
Greek Week happens 1o be a fun way to
celebrate their enthusiasm for helping
people and having a good time. The
tabloid he wrote of us a way for the
participants to remember Greek Week (like
a year book ar a photo album). M.L. Elrick
obviously has serious prejudices against
the Greek system. But, he should base
his accusations on facts, not clic:hes
stereotypes. His article was in poor taste
and reflects inept journalistic: skills.
My suggestion is that Elrick take a
beginning journalism class where he will
learn about research, facts, and maybe
having an open rrind.
Sincerely,
Emily Sala
(a non-Greek MSU student)
It ia /ntereating to note that NONE
of the greeka who talked to uR-1 ataff
members took advantage of an oflerto
have a column run contradicting
Elrick~ diatribe. They were told their
column would run in the ume 11pot 1111
Elrick'•, ume length, with ume aize
headline and no editing by our ataff.
Oh well •••
-ed. .
Get laid, too, Lynn?
DearuR~:
In response to Lynn Kloosterman's
oh-so-intelligent letter in last week's paper:
You're right, Lynn, blacks have no
. right to whine abo!Jl racism, women are
victims of nothing but PMS, and the
government is not corrupt.
The world is just perfect the way it is.
Ys21l.mbeing oppressed too, Lynn;
you're just too stupid to realize it. I'm glad
to see that you're only a freshman. Maybe
you'll learn something while you're here.
Si~rely,
Tina Caputo
Reader: White=right
DearuR~.
It's about time Ill The forming of a
White Caucus. Finally, a chance for white
Americans to take pride in themselves.
Just like the Afro-American population is
composed of various heritages, so too is
the white population. White people need
to have a sense of identity and individuality.
They can't be seen as just a plain
majority or a large nondescript mass. Why
not learn ab9ut individual histories of our
immigrant forefathers who are lumped
' together into this category of whiteness.
Everyone, not just the minorities, deserves
a chance to take price in her or his
ancestry.
ChrisD.
normally we would not print auch a
Jetter without a full aignature, but we
feel it;. important to let atudenta know
that theseacrewed-up butarda are out
there.
If the letter writer;. oflended by
thia psychological attsessment, he/she
ia welcome to come forth with a full
name and an apology will be printed.
-ed.
6· university Reporter-Intelligencer ·23 May 1990
John
Jakary
All in all, I thought it a rather
impressive start to the end of the
world.
Who would have believed the
northern United States having a
week of 50-degree-plus weather in
mid January, then freezing temperatures
in mid-May?
Tonight, it was a thunderstorm,
complete with laser light snow and
acid rain. Sure, I had hoped for real
fire and brimstone stuff, you know,
whole towns being laid off, the
ground opening up and swallowing
dogs and small children. But I was
satisfied. Besides, I had always
wanted to be a blonde, and the rain
seemed to be doing a great bleach
job.
Anyone remember Earth Day?
of my apartment. A sense of childlike
glee was growing in my heart at
the wonder I felt knowing this to be a
cleansing rain. Benzene, toluene,
mercury, carbon, CFC's (ChloroFluoro-
Carbons), PCB's (Polychlorinated
Biphenyls), and a host of
another 175 toxic chemicals, all
being washed back to Earth. That is
as nature intends: the Earth absorbs
these chemicals, breaks them
down with a number of biological
processes, and sends the byproducts,
toxic or otherwise, deeper
into the water table. A good, safe
resting place.
This, of course, only acounts for
what is burned arid pushed into the
air (Approximately 116 million
pounds of toxic chemicals are
released into the air EVERY YEAR
by industry in the state of Michigan
alone!!) and later, finds its way back
down. What about the shit that's
being dumped right next to our
homes, our water supplies_, our
businesses? .
People are finding pools of
unknown sludge seeping through
their lawns. I have seen the looks of
real terror on workers' faces when
the Feds, showing up to close down
the shop, arrive in radiation-type .
suits and oxygen masks. They
wonder about their hands. Wiping
their noses, caressing their children,
lifting 75 pound drums of "Chemical
X" on the dock. And this kind of shit
has been dumped down the throats
of North and South Americans,
Soviets, Africans, Europeans ...
EVERYBODY, from the First to the
Third World.
But we're all too dumb to fight
back; we keep going blindly on, and
let M. Nature do all the back-breaking
work. -We keep pumping it out,
taking everything we can use, and
putting back the garbage we can't,
with hardly a thought to conservation,
at least not on the necessary
"grand scale."
Hell, we won't even control our
own population, and you cannot
conserve without a stable population.
This is all just the tip of my beef,
which I call Western Technological
. Civilization. The point I'm making is
this:
In the United States, we have
the freedom to express ourselves.
And as citizens, we have an obligation
to use it.
Get educated and write to your
favorite senator, representative, or
corporate VIP. Get involved and
join a political, social or volunteer organization.
There Is power in
numbers. As the wealthiest nation
on the planet, we have got the
power to change things, even it it's
by spending our hard-earned cash
on stamps, ink and envelopes.
Speak loudly, America!
Here are two leads:
•Amnesty International, the
leading human rights organization in
the world. They are responsible for
freeing hundreds of political, religious,
and innocent prisoners
through intensive letter-writing
· campaigns. Write to A.I. USA, 53
West Jackson, Room 1162, Chicago,
IL 60604.
•Sen. Vernon Ehlers, chair of the
Natural Resources and Environmental
Affairs Committee. This
committee is debating the fate of
Senate Bill 375, a piece of legislation
designed to make polluters pay
for the C9St of deaning up their toxic
waste sites, instead of the taxpayers
footing the bill. It would also give
the DNR more authority to prosecute
those who refuse to do the right
thing. Write to the good senator and
company at Room 806 Farnum
Building, Lansing, Ml 48909.
I returned home soaked, hoping
my jacket, now smoking at the
seams, wouldn't un~vel in the heat ============;:::::::=============================================================== Our McWilliams answers his mail
Tom
. ·"'· McWilliams
Hey, Hey, I got some response!
Let me first point out that I don't work
for the uRI. I am not a reporter, nor
do I receive a paycheck. This would
be called an opinion column, though
most of what I put in here are judgments:
Jeff Hanert: I realize that I'm
expressing the libertarian party's basic
platform, but I feel I should only push
my own views, rather than using this
medium just to support a political
party. You're right though, anyone
Lansing!
Seems the city council has
decided to raise parking rates, obstensibly
to limit student parking.
Kind of makes you want to
register to vote and dump those
student-hating clowns, now doesn't it?
Oh, and remember that blind pig
that got busted last week? Two andwho
thinks political parties can help
. should look into it. After all, getting
some new idologies in power can only
help.
Liberals want to limit economic
freedom, in the name of "Public
Welfare,· and conservatives want to _
limit pesonal freedom in the name of
"Public Morals: What you don't hear
is that both parties assume that
proection of your rights requires
limiting them (this is doublethink at it's
most blatant.)
Lynn Kloosterman: Are you lost
or what? As a matter of fact, I am
oppressed, as are you. Try smoking a
joint in public sometime if you don't
believe me. Also, no one gave me the
right to bitch. I just have it, same as
you. Your notion assumes that
governments exist to grant rights,
rather than to protect them. That you
chose to bitch while complaining
about bitching shows that you are
either a hypocrite, or just plain stupid.
If you want to learn, now that you're at
a-half barrels of evil.
But I've heard there was a frat
party that 60 kegs?
Gosh, money talks, don't it?
Why are there so many question
marks in this week's abbreviated
offering? There's been so much
screwed-up crap going on in this town
that my five-year old mind can't handle
it! Where's my pacifier, dammit...
college, here's some advice: Reach
Machiavelli or Neitzsche for discourses
on statesmen and the role of
power in human affairs. Also, take
Hal Walsh, in PhilosophY, Walter
Martin, in Humanities, or Run Puhek,
in Social Science for a better understanding
of reason and ·freedom,
something you seem to be lacking.
Kay Steele: Thanks! I hope I can
keep myself above the dreck.
Peter Zeiler: I am doing something.
I'm trying to find people who
care, people who recognize that this is
an issue of power, and people who
believe there is an alternative to
standing by as our overspending
"leaders· bring down the whole house
of cards.
What can you do? You can start
by not contradicting yourself. "Sure,
Government sucks, but ... • is a sign
that you've bought their bullshit. It
would miss the point to say that each
government function that you deem
bad is probably what someone else
thinks more of, like that your money
should be spent on drug-free zones
around all the schools, induding MSU.
And it's not relevant that most government
services, most of which you
don't need and none of which you
receive voluntarily,_ but all of which you
pay for, suck (either because it's
inefficient, too expensive, or just plain
doesn't work.) What is relevant is that
our Government is violating
everyone's "inalienable· rights by
doing most of the things that people
now just assume the government is
supposed to do. When our government
uses force to make you do
something that you don't want to do,
. or stops you from doing something
that you have every right to do, it's
gone too far. Get you head straight.
You can't •subvert the dominant
paradigm• if you use their logic. Call
me up, too. You sound like you care.
If anyone wants to help, call 336-
9591.
FIRST AMENDMENT PARTY:
FRIDAY, 25 MAY
142 GUNSON ST.
0fllfl[JJ@ )7@(!!Jj) @©fJJ~'ft/Jft(JfjfJIJ@[JJ
23 May 1990 . · university Reporter-Intelligencer • 7
Mark
Ludwig
Have you ever felt like a bastard at
a family reunion?
I got such a feeling last Friday at
the annual State News Awards Banquet.
At least I wasn't alone. The table
I was at was filled with people who have
annoyed the divas at the top of our
campus daily. Due to my short attention
span, and the fact that the only
Marty
West
Me and a beer buddy were standing
around the keg just laughing and
drooling and having a good time when
he went serious on me.
"You know," he said. 'We've got
nuclear bombs, homelessness, global
pollution, species extinction, strong arm
drug cartels and a whole list of worries,
but that's not what our government is
afraid of."
I gave a knowing burp. "Yup," I
replied. ''They're afraid of not getting
re-elected.".
"Elections are only secondary
fears," he.slurred. "The ones who are
really in control don't have to worry ·
about re-elections because they were
never voted in in the first place. I never
voted for the big wigs who made a
SN banquet nurtu·res tasty thoughts_
really interesting thing to watch was
Elrick pounding amazing quantities of
rum and coke, I began to daydream. I
started composing what I would have
liked to say, had I a moment at the
podium: It would have sounded
something like this ...
Good evening and thank you for a
chance to congratulate The State News
Board of Trustess on selecting John
Secor as this year's editor. He was
truly the right choice to continue the
tradition of an increasingly poor State
News. Not only has he shown a
tolerance for error and shallow coverage,
but more importantly, his ability to
alienate the minority staff members
through his callous attitude helped
maintain the ~>' news's tradition of an
adversarial relationship with these
groups on campus. Of course his
instru ctions on how to properly slant
stories on minority leaders like Louis
Farrakhan truly ensured disgust form
inte lligent readers. But let's not dwell
on such things. After all, if The State
News had faced the problems illust rated
by hostile comments from minority
student leaders and its own staff, Secor
wouldn't have been able to shed those
extra pounds by lying his ass off to
cover his. negligence. Let's instead look
forward to the next year when a new
editor and more dough will arrest the
S'new's slide into mediocrity. Let's look
forward to the coming year when we'll
see columnists with bite instead of gas
masks, stories with balance instead of
bias, and candor instead of lies. Peg,
as next year's editor, you have nothing
especially great to live up to. But let me
tell you that there are people, like
myself, who read that rag cover to cover
each day. We compare what happened
at events with what is written about
them. We expect a little toe stepping
and butt ki cking to try to break the
campus apathy. We expect a little
mental provocation. We want a reason
to be loyal readers. We want our $2.75
worth of writing. Impress usl Pleasel
- Ludwig, former president of
RHA, has had his share of run-ins
with The State News.
For accuracy 's sake, we should
point out Elrick was drinking WHISKEY,
not rum.
- ed.
E.L. fat cats shun Too Much Fun
ki lling off the HUD projects, I never
voted for the timber industry to make a
mint from 500 year old Sequoia particle
board bought cheap from the Forestry
.service. I never ever ever voted for the
best interest of the oil companies yet
there's the Exxon Valdez. See, all the
big decisions are made off the ballot. "
"So if it's not re-elections, what is
the government afraid of then? And
here, have another beer, better make
sure you get your three dollars worth."
"Ah, another beer, that's to the
point. The thing that the men in power -
that is, the one's with the fattest wallets,
are afraid of is Too·Much Fun. See, if
we're having too much fun, we're
forgetting about all of the things that
we're supposed to hate, like Russians
and poor people, and we forget to listen
to the Fatwallets tell us how our hatred
can be best directed. If we're not
paying them any attention, they lose
their grip, their bank accounts shrink
and they get very upset."
"Come on," I said. "You mean to
tell me that our government doesn't
want us to have fun so that it can
channel our anger and keep us unified
in hatred? That's pretty ugly. Okay, if
what you say is true, how come Cedar
Point isn't illegal? That's a heckuva lot
of fun." I sucked down my beer and
filled up again at the tap.
"Cedar Point is institutionalized,
and somebody's making a lot of money
off it.so that's different .. You go there,
stand in line, have your alloted amount
of fun and then go stand in another line.
If you get too deviant, they toss you out
into the parking lot. But think about the
rollercoasters. The tracks are the way
in which we are channeled, up, down
and around the curves, it's all very nice
and safe. But consider this, after the
cars shoot down the big hill, the race up
another. As they're going up, they·
remember that rollercoasters hate going
up and coast down again on the other
side. But in that moment before they go
down again, there's that instant of free
fall, where you don't know if you're
going to ke~p going up or what. It's that
instant that makes the Fatwallets
nervous. That's why they don't like
parties -they're just a little out of control
and therefore potentially dangerous.
People may relate their dissatisfied
subversive thoughts with a few too
many beers in 'em."
"Pshawl" I spit beer. "You're
kidding me, right? Now you're telling
me that Uncle Sam and all his cohorts
are against freedom of expression, that
So just who did let you geeks out of the sewer anyway?
they really don't want me here listening
to your opinions of the Fatwallets, er, I
mean policy makers? Excuse me, but
this-" I hoisted my plastic cup- "is my
pursuit of happiness, and listening to
you is my freedom of speech. We as
Americans are promised these things,
and that is what America is all about.
Furthermore, if you'll have me believe
that this country is run by a bunch of
stony-faced despots and storm troopers
then I'll say goodnight right now and go
deal on that girl over there before she
passes out. "
I turned to go but it was too late.
The moment I had a good line in my
foggy head, 12 commandos in blue
busted up the party and arrested the
keg. I hid under a table in case suppressive
gun fire erupted and woke
there the next morning.
On the walk horn I thought of what
my beer buddy had said, and decided
that I probably had been having too
much fun for the sake of my country.
'After all, we really can't afford to have
dissidents forming new parties whenever
we choose, can we?
- W••I,· who WU unllb,. to •crounge •
photograph, r .. lly DOES loolc Ilk• thltll
Yep, Donatello, Mic haelangelo, Leonardo, and Raphael, you are tough shells to crack, but not so tough
that we wouldn't like to make turtle soup out of your annoying asses. A little sett, a .little pepper, and an
. invitation to Shredder and we'd have a grand time indeed.
Then again, you might not be such tasty morsels, since just all the hype surrounding your movie, video
games, posters, clothing, ahd so on, makes us sick.
Still, you're good Americans and anyone who can hang out in New York in just their underwear has to be a
hard guy - that's a shell joke, son. Get it? ·
"ty Reporter-Intelligencer 23 May 1990
Or.Andrew
Barclay
I ;;,; ;; ii
Doc-proves
there's more
than one guy
in the White
House who's
full of shit
My brain went on vacation this
week because the weather has been
such shit. Luckily for my readers,
brain activity is definitely no excuse for
a column, if you get my drift, but the
letters lying here require a certain
degree of cerebration, albeit minimal,
that I am not putting out these days.
On cold, rainy days, the old squash is
like a 50-watt radio station, just won't
get up to heat. I tried glow plugs, but
they.don't seem to work. So:
Do you ever worry about what
happens to people who are severly ·
repressed? It was like the time I was
invited to the Reagon White House for
dinner. Everything went just fine until
I had to answer the call of Nature, as it
were.
I sort of slipped away from the
crowd of bejeweled people standing
around Ronnie, laughing at his stupid
jokes (like pretending he couldn't
remember his own name) to approach
one of those splendid Marine guards
you see in the commercials. He was
standing at rigid attention, buzz-cut,
sword at his side, staring straight
ahead. I slid up to one of these few
good men and, out of the corner of my
mouth asked: "Hey, Captain, where's
the powder roomr He pretended he
. hadn't heard me although his dress
blues straightened a little more or
maybe he just stiffened.
I was having a problem so I had
no choice but to insist: "Hey, Lance,
where's the bitty? You know, the can,
the porcelain convenience, the little
ladies room? I have to shake the dew
off my lilly. Wash my hands. Pinch a
loaf. You know, pass some gas.
Jesus Christ, man the crapper, I have
to take a shit. OK? Do you get my
drift? The fucking crapper, Lance,
wherer
A man with a little plastic doobie in
his ear led me away. lwas jumping up
and down, frustrated with my obvious
inability to communicate with this
dude. The MWTLPDIHE gently
explained to me that when the Reagans
took over the White House,
Nancy had Ronald pass an Executive
Order that prohibited bathroom s in
the White Houe. I couldn't believe it.
said, "What do they do when they
have to shitr He said: "These
people are so fucking white, they
didn't even have to shit! Nancy says
'No,' and that is that.·
It is easy for the rich. They can
hire people to come in and give them
enemas once a week. I couldn't
believe it. They threw me out of the
reception because they said you
couldn't be there with a spoiled
tuxedo. (What I love about Barbara
Bush is that she doesn't care if your
tuxedo is full of shit, all she wants to
know is are you a nice person? If you
love children, Barbara thinks you're
OK.) -
Where is all the shit going to go?
I hopa there isn't anyone who thinks if
you hold it long enough, it will just •go
away: I" had a cousin like that. His
attitude was: You never see the guy
shit in a cowboy movie. He was trying
to live up to his rolemodels, what a
funny person. I believe his record is
still in Guiness for the longest held on
land. There were two guys in a
lifeboat, you'll never believe this, who
held it for 41 days because THEY
DIDN'T WANT TO MESS UP THE
OCEAN. Can you imagine? I hear
you can almost walk the North Atlantic
these days from St. John's to Lizard
Light or Fastnet. The Southern route
from Bermuda to the Azores isn't
much better. ·
The problem is that shit begins to
back up on them. No one wants to
admit that THEIR shit is backing up on
them, .now do they? So they rush
around pointing at other people and,
to distract them, yelling: "Look! I see
shit on you: That's why it is always
"other people's shit,· that is their
problem, its never their own. I suppose
that's why people kept o:,eeing
those moats in Jesus' eyes but these
days, it exists as the use of alcohol
regulatory law to control people's
lifestyles. (Remember what I say
solves the problem: Make 18 the
drinking age and Declare the MSU
campus (patrolled by Ingham County
Deputies) a Free Zone where people
can live a lot like they please without
hurting anyone or hurting themselves.)
Do you know what would happen
if the Board of Trustees passed a set
of resolutions like that? Every DAMN
mother, sister, former drug abuser,
etc. would come out screaming and
yelling about alcohol abuse and drunk
driving in adolescents, and if one child
has to die it's one too many. Meanwhile,
Washington would threaten (a
lot like Gorby and the Baltic Republics,
eh? ) to cut off our highway funds
if we went against the National -
Drinking Age and promoted Blatant
Poly-Drug Abuse in Teens.
You give one lousy party and the
next thing you know, it's the NKVD.
Miami Vice-type guys making "buys•
of "illegal drugs• with marked money.
Then yelling, "Freeze, ITS EAST
LANSING VICE! YOU'RE ALL
UNDER ARREST FOR FREQUENTING
A BAWDY HOUSE.' People are
walking around going, "Say, what?
Frequenting a bawdy houser A
whore-house, people, you're being
busted for running a whore-house.
Hence the name Blind Pig. It's a oneyear
felony rap.
I'd plea-bargain down to minor in
possession, if I were you, unless you
through the party, of course, or if you
are not a minor, then you have a bit
more of a problem. Nothing that can't
be overcome, of course, but you are
going to be on probation, your party
days are over. The idea of obtaining a
Circuit Court injunction to stop a party
is so are out to me, that I have a hard
time comprehending that it is actually
happening. Or the idea that you are
going to be placed on probation to
keep you from partying.
Now understand that the Old Doc
only dreams of partying like he used
to. There comes a point where a
physical being can only take so much
and the doctor says, "You have to
slow down, man, or you're going to
di.e.· I figured we're all going to die,
you know what I mean, but he said,
"No, man, like next week, you know
what that means!•
Death -is nature's way of telling us
to slow down. I wasn't getting any
younger either, so I kicked back an
watched the lilies of the field, you
might say. The zen of it is to become
the thin you really are, so I became a
lily for a while. Didn't do much but I
was really beautiful. Sat around, longstemmed,
in a lovely cut glass vase.
You can tell they didn't understand me
very well but they were willing to pay a
lot for lilies then.
(I though it was because I was so
intelligent; seems they thought I had
to be dumb because I was so beautiful.
What do you when you thought
you were getting by on talent when it
was more because you were sleeping
with the producer kind of thing? I kept ·
saying "If you have to be a whore, at
least charge a lot for you seiVices:
That way, you ony have to do a few
tricks to get by.)
It's the shit backing up that causes
people no end of trouble in their life.
What I dislike about these times is that
when the white culture catches
someone who is trying to actually deal
with som~ shit, they act like it is the
victim's fault. That the addict is
somehow weak which explains why
they are doing what they do. If the
white culture wasn't cutting off
people's natural outlets, they woldn't
be having to deal with shit. My
advice? Go outside an shit in the
bushes, but watch Qut for the results
of the last cabinet meeting.
Provoc proves there's more tHan
one columnist in E.L. who's full of ...
generation, willya, you mucus-loving, blisterlicking,
pinko tUnning dogs!
hour for six days at the Trump Plaza Hotel &
Casino, Aiko Kashiwagi (kasundheit!) split before a
$6 million check cleared.
the
. Provocateur
Regardless, It's great to be back here in the
uR-1, America's longest-named paper that's
guaranteed to bring a choice and a smile •
So, as the hair-ball wheezing cat (sans
smile) might say, HARAGGRAMAPHAMAPFET •••
Calling Trump •unhonorable· for failing to
extend his credit, Kashiwagi said he would burn his
autographed copy of Trump's best-selling tome, The
Art of the Deal (which, in later printings, was renamed,
How to Get Fabulous BabBS Without Being
Rich, But Only Having a Groovy Personality,
The year Is waning and I'm still whining, but
there are somethings yQu never outgrow • • • like
MSU, right you five-year seniors dragging ass
through tl'lflse hallowed halls!
Get out of here and leave some room for my
Ivana and I had a good laugh this week (she
babysits me to make extra money, and I'm a lot
easier to manage than The DONALD - and cuter)
when we read about her ax's trouble with a billionaire
gambler from Jap-One-Day-We'll-Own-You-Allan.
Seems a billionaire who wagered $14 million an
Really).
Gosh, wonder-if he'll put a stop payment on that
check?
Good news if you plan on parking in East see BRAT, p. 6 .
23 May 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer • 9
I OUT and ABOUT •••••••••••••••••••••••• .Aeast Lansing
llnlilmoo C.lllllw
25-28 May: Ringling Bros. and
Barnum & Balley Circus
ll"Z1ur
23 May: Enemy Squad with Fortunate
Sons
30: Gone Dog with Day Glo Orange
Fe'lirolb'lu.I ~·
23 May: Faculty recital
u:..tlllwiO Sllllp
30 May: Jazz Band II
Gr•ID ll»ooll'
23-27 May: Uptown Band
28: Blue Avenue Delegates
29: Capitol City Band
30-3 June: Uptown Band
llnow-3 June: the Undergraduate
Exhibition
lcmCl.itarli
25-26 May: Knaves
1Llal)i1)!1elllll-1111• Glllllwy
now-25 May: photographs by Stephen
Strom
llDdOllll4MIO llQdO
24 May: The Last Laugh, Panic
Button, and False ·Addiction
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23 & 26 May: Romeo et Juliet
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24 May: Dance Against Bigotry
25: Noontimes: School of Music Jazz
Muse Combo
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23 May: Radio Caroline
24: The Sun Messengers
25: The Juntunes
29:Skor
30: The Civilians
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now-3 June: The Fantastlcks
Slllw!r !Dolllar SGIOCID
now-27 May: Dr. Strangelove
29-3 June: Syndicate
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24 May: Electric Rain
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23 May: MSU Wind Symphony
24: Concert & Campus Bands
25: State Police Recruit Graduation
30: Glee Clubs/Collegiate & Chamber
Choirs
.AAnn Arbor
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23 May: Open Stage
24: The Fabulous Umeliters
25: Dick Siegel
26: Christine Lavin
27: Vincent York and the New York
Force
29: Bob Franke
30: open stage
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23-26 May: Ron Brooks Trio
27: Clark & Reed Jam Session Qazz
TllE CLYDESDALE
musicians welcome)
28: Bird of Paradise Orchestra
29: Keller & Kocher. Quartet
30-31: The Ron Brooks Trio
~llt oo.'l~lnr.
23 May: Souled American with Veges
Fist
24: Viv Akauldren with the Unsane
25: Urge Overkill Surgery
26: Babes in Toyland with Skin Flower
30: Just Say No, Scruffy Tearaways, .
and Forced Anger
fRlllcli'•
23 May: The Urbations
24: The Knaves 25: George Bedard &
the King Pins
26:Juice
28: Goon Squad
29: Iodine Raincoats
.Anetroit
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25-26 May: Hot Club
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25 May: Phineas Gage with Missionary
Stew
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26 May: Hip Hop Jam
Anthony Wayne
D.O.A.
Shake Rattle and Roll
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25 May: Jeff Mylin & the Blues Invasion
26: The Pettibone Blues Project
IP•r~Dll•lie
25 May: Liars, Cheats & Thieves
26: Dogbunny Review with Hippodrome
·
IJIWJOOl!llim"e IJIOme
25 May: Universal Spectrum with
Image Sound
26: Ako-ben with Multi-national Sound
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23 May: Love Hate
24: The London Quire Boys
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24 May:(bop) Harvey
25: Mitch Ryder with Mark Pazman &
the Motor City Blues Project
26: Rhythm Corps with Beer on the
Penguin
27: Martha Reeves with Jeff Scott &
the Big Picture
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25 May: Steve Nardella
26: Code Blue
a ~iilNan
25 May: Terminator X & Flavor Flav
26: Happy Deathmen with Funhog
27: Del Amitri with Goober & the Peas
1 June: House of Love
Sl!llOllJ" e
24 May: James Harman with The
Dangerous Gentlemen
25: 3 Mustaphas 3
27-28: Ronnie Earl & the Broadcasters
by JONT
... I
·university Reporter-Intelligencer 23 May 1990
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23 May 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer • 11
Reviews
restaurants in Britain, and forces the
cook to prepare extravagant meals for .
him and his gang.
While the thief is busy harassing
the restaurant's usual clientelle, his wife
(played by the seductive Shakespearean
actres.'!>, Helen Mirren) is busy
making eyes at a book dealer sitting a
few tables away. As the film progresses
so does their relationship.
of the film is shot in wide shots (it's
almost like watching a play).
However, where Greenway succeeds
the most is In creating an artsy
film with crude elements that you would
expect to see in John Wa1era' films. The Cook is well-done The thief spouts out lines of violence
that range from the morbidly funny
to.the excruciatingly painful to watch.
And there's more skin on display than in
your average T&A flick.
~ The Cook, The Thief,
~ His Wife and Her Lover
BY FARAH THOMASON
uR-1 CINEMA CORRESPONDENT
Who ever would have thought that
a British black comedy called The Cook.
the Thief, his Wife and her Lover would
ever play the local AMC multi-plex.
And who ever would have thought
that they would let It run unrated (it .was
branded an X by the MPM).
But AMC theaters realized they
could cash in on all the hype surrounding
the recent slew of movies that have
chosen to make use of their freeedom
of speech rights and dodge the chopping
block of the movie censors -
ratings board.
Other films like the shockingly
horrific Henry: Portrait of a Serial and
Pedro Almodovar's bondage epic Tie
Me LP T1e Me Down have also opted to
be released unrated.
Bagel Fragefueu
This Week's Quesnon:
Before the uR-1 story on STDs, what
did you think STDs w~re?
a. A high-viscosity motor oil
b. An abbreviation of "stud"
c. A gift that keeps on giving
d. a danger to all humankind
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However, the hype seems to~ paying
off, the theater packed more in for The
Cook, than for big budget mainstream
films like Kevin Costner's abysmal flick
Revenge. But by now you're probably
thinking "What's all the fuss about?"
Well, The Cook is definitely one of
the most bizarre films of the year and
definitely is one of the best. The twisted
plot deals with a rude, piggish abusive
thug (the thief played with twisted zeal
by Michael Bambon) who fancies
himself as a gourmet. .He muscles in on
La Hollandaise, one of the finest
The
Needless to say, the thief isni
happy when he finds out. And telling
what happens would be spoiling a
particularly gruesome twist in the plot.
While this plot seems like typical
soap opera fare, writer/director Pe1er
Greenway transforms this cliche pl9t
idea into a disturbingly beautiful adult
fable about lust and over-indulgence.
Greenway paints a stunning
cinematic vision. His surrealistec sets
are lush with red velvet. His camera
shots are stunning, even though most
SIMPSONS
But if you are thinking about seeing
this film, doni worry about breaking out
your raincoat; The Cookis no Debbie
Does Dallas- but it is a masterfully
crafted, strange and very funny black
comedy.
AMC theaters must be commended
for supporting Greenway's unique
artistic vision and not exiling it to an
arthouse where viewership would be
- severely limited.
F~mily Look-a-Like Contest
500.00 @/jJ@/JJ prize to the best family
THURSDAY, MAY 31st \'
Proceeds of caver charge ta benefit the:·
.. U'JJ@OD W F:J
--
Entertainment
The Orange Roughies are Dave Feeny, guitar and .
backup vocals, Drew Malburg, drums, Roeey, vocals,
and Glynn Scanlon, bass. Scanlon replaced Keiih
Soucy, who played all the bass tracks on the album
The Roughies feel that the album's success is a step
in the right direction but are not finished clirrbing.
Malburg said: "We have to pay our dues and keep
plugging away."
Feeny said the album"just made us more serious
and committed.•
The Roughies play a progressive, pop, dance-
. oriented style music. They pride themselves on their
originality and stray away from being stereotypical.
Our music is a left turn from radio rock," said Feeny.
"Rock 'n' Roll is becoming and old tired. medium, which it
was not meant to be How much can you do with the
same rock 'n' roll?"
The band is open to fresh ideas and changes. They
try to break away from the normal status quo of music.
"We are liberal free thinkers,• said Feeny. "Too many
bands are formula-oriented or are all-star bands with
interchangeable parts."
Penguins aren't all wet
BY STEVE BYRNE
uR-1 lllUSIC CORRESPONDENT
Despite the misleading moniker, Beer on ihe
Penguin is not a group of pudgy, short guys waddling
around in ale-drenched tuxedos.
They are one of the more impressive bands to find
their way to Rick's this year, as their strong performance
there last Wednesday proved .
They played a set heavy with originals and spiced
with a few well-received covers, ranging from Led
l.eppelin's "Rock and Roll" to a heavy acoustic version of
Bob Marley's "Redemption Song.•
The originals, however, were what made the show
go.
The quartet played a brand of self-described "progressive
rock with a hard edge" that is not unknown in this
area, and their own tunes sounded somewhat like a lateReplacementa/
Midnight Oil hybrid.
Rougies smooth
The name "Orange Roughies, •was chosen for two
reasons. Rosey said, the orange aspect of the name
gives the band a little color.
Feeny added, "The roughies aspect describes the.
bands rougher edged melodic style.•
The Replacement side of the sound came from
Chuck Pope's grinding guitar playing, Mart< Haygren's
quick and flicketty bass, and the pound and thump
backing of Beniamin R. Ridley Jr.'s drums.
Patrick Akerley's clearly-enunciated vocals reached
out and held the audience, and with his hair pulled back
by a skullcap, the comparison to Oil-frontman, Pe1er
Garrett was easy to make.
What comes to mind when you hear Orange Rouigh.
? ies. The band's ·color shows in their live performances.
How about a Detroit band whose first album released
was recently ranked in the top 100 ~t requested
albums on college radio stations in America, according to
the College Music Joumal.
The album, Knuckle Sandwich produced with Rob
Tyner of the MC-5, was released last January by Nocturnal
Records of Detroit. By its fourth week of circulation,
the album reached number 98 on the top 100 most
requested albums on college radio stations nationwide.
The visual performance, orchestrated by the movements
of Rosey, could be described as theatrical.
"It would be nice if we could produce a live album that
could pick:up the foot steps to Rosey's dancing," said
Feeny.
They pulled off several engaging numbers, including
"Whiskey and Women," which went from soft blues to
hard-nosed thrash, and "Bitterness,• a narrative describing
an Akerley run-in with the Detroit Police Department.
The College Music Journal Poll is conducted every
two weeks. It's a survey of between 400 to 500 college
radio stations, designed to see which albums received the
most requests, said Jim Caliguiri the College Music
Joumal ..
Each member of the Rougheis began their roots as
musicians during the English post-punk era of the early
1980's. They eventually met, started as a basement
band, and have slowly worked their way up, with Feeny
even making a name for himself as Best Musician three
years running, selected by Detroit's The Metro Times.
Since playing local clubs and q:>ening for national
acts, The Roughies are in the midst of a three-month tour
from Texas to the West Coast ending in the East.
Detroit is the city the band works out of, though they
prefer to call themselves suburban-based. They have
been together in this line-up for a little over a year, but
have been around since Akerley and Haygen started the
band about five years ago.
They have q:>ened gigs for the Smithereens and
Rhythm Corpe, and they can be caught fronting Rhythm
Corps again at the outdoor River Rock Cafe in Detroit, on
Saturday, May 26.
Sinead1s diversity wows E.L.
BY STACY LAMMERS
UR-I MUSIC CORRESPONDENT
Mesmerizing I
That's the only adjective that comes
to mind when thinking of the Wednesday
night performance of Sinead O'Connor at
the MSU Auditorium.
The opening act, Hugh Harris, w~h
his back-up band, played tunes with a pop/
reggae/progressive flavor. Harris sounded
like Terence Trent D'Arby, with a little
Bob Marley thrown in. However, his
appearance was more along the lines of
Tracy Chapman.
Harris 's performance wasn't too bad,
highlighteq by a few good upbeat, reggaetype
songs. The band, however, was a
mismatch for Harris 's internationalsounding
voice. They played more
conventional, mainstream music and
Harris sounded like he was made to sing
reggae. Some advice for Harris: "Break
away, Mon!"
O'Connor took the stage at around
8:40 p.m. The audience promptly gave a
thunderous ovation to the Irish songstress
as she and her back-up band took their
positions on stage.
Her appearance was scruffy, and
often clashed with her moody, yet beautiful
ballads. Clad in baggy jeans and an old Tshirt
(her usual concert attire), she
delivered her opening number, "When .
Doves Cry."
O'Connor steered from soft ballads to
punchy dance nurrbers, then back again.
This made for excellent contrast and
added to the show's diversity, another
trademark of the singer. Her performance
was chock full of new tunes, but she
evened it out with some of her earlier
songs.
One memorable part of the show was
O'Connor's unique version of her recent
breakthrough hit, "Nothing Compares 2U."
She did a longer, softer, more emotional
rendition of the song. This was a pleasant
change from the same old version heard
repeatedly on the radio.
At one point during the concert, havoc
was wreaked as a pack of crazed fans
leapt upon the stage, grasping for the
~singer. Promptly, security sweptthe
delirious youths off the stage. O'Connor
appeared ab~ ruffled by the incident.
"I know you people mean well by
doing that, but I'm a human being, too and
that really freaks me out," she told the
sold-out crowd.
Another exceptional moment in the
show was the encore. O'Connor came
back out for the last number alone, without
her guitar,_ and with a request for the
audience.
"I'm gonna do a very quiet song now,
so I'd appreciate it if you'd be real quiet.
Thankyou,"shewhispered.
Granting her wish, the obnoxious, but
loyal, crowd obliged. In fact, it was so
quiet at that point that you could hear a pin
drop. Then she began the final number of
the show, "I Do Not Want What I Haven't
Got." Her ethereal voice echoed in the
auditorium and made this the most
beautiful, spiritual moment of the entire
performance.
Most of O'Connor's show served up
newer tunes like "When Doves Cry,"
"Nothing Compares 2U," and "I Do Not
Want What I Haven't Got," the title track
from her second effort.
However, O'Connor did throw out
some faves from her debut, The Lion and
the Cobra .. Some of those included
•Jerusalem,• "Mandinka, •and a rather
steamy performance (Hands on Me).• It was surprising (and
disappointing) that "Troy" wasn't included
in the line-up.
Sinead O'Connor
Although many people whined about
the show's length (of about 70 minutes), it
couldn't have been any better if had been
four hours long.
Nevertheless, O'Connor's performance
was powerful and emotionally
draining. Many gripes were raised about
the concert being a r~-off because it
wasn't even two hours long. However, for
those who paid the 18 bucks to see an
artist performing her art, rather than a "pop
idol" (doing whatever it is cheesy pop idols
do), it was more than worth it.
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