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University Reporter - Intelligencer, Volume 1, Number 27

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Creator: Crying Out For Help, Inc
Subjects: Administration, People, Faculty, Students, Campus
Description: Major stories:
President and Trustees Expenses
President's travel
Editorials
Viewer Mail
"Moving Away" by Polly Esther
Haiku 2 by Jenny Cromie
"Jesus Christ" by Matt Mullins
untitled by Kevin Ten Brink
"Gangsters of Love" by Matt Mullins
"Lady of the Lkae" by Troye Frank
"Red Rum is Grey" by Jenny Cromie
"The Abortion" by Jenny Cromie
"Swallowing the Moon" by Jenny Cromie
Hakiu 3 by Jenny Cromie
"Expanding Minds and Shrinking Glands" by Michel-Louis Salavatore
Louis Farrakhan
Dr. Andrew Barclay
Out and About
Reviews - B.B. King, Kinsey Report, Joanna Conner
Entertainment - Branford Marsalis
Date: May 31, 1990
Format: Text/pdf
Original Format: Broadside
Resource Identifier: A006373.pdf
Collection Number: Serial 990
Language: English
Rights Management: Educational use only, no other permissions given. Copyright to this resource is held by Michigan State University and is provided here for educational purposes only. It may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without written permission of the University Archives & Historical Collections, Michigan State University.
Contributing Institution: University Archives & Historical Collections
Relation: Serial 990
Text File: Download (24.54 MB)
Transcript: 1m:itt11M'*lfAfinp;umm1•mm1t2rifH'·'llrt•t"flrnu:;-noma1•1
31
May
1990
Vol. I
No. 27
MSU's alternative
and truly
endent voice
• : .. ;:,..
What's shakin' :
Check out our big
-~~:' columns inside!
l.l!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.J thoughts flourish... p. 6
o What's up? Op:! ...
OTune in to Viewer Mail ...
e Dr. Sex anwers hard questions ...
GThrow rocks with the Provoc .. .
o Down and Oun Get About! .. .
o Branford Marsalis has chops! .. .
\
p.4
p.5
p. 13
p. 13
p. 14
p. 16
!;?' .
President, Trustees get
thousands from MSU
BY BRIAN MARSHALL
UR·! ISSUES CORFESPONDENT
On March 30th, 1989, John
DiBiaggio and his daughter Dana went
to see the NCAA Ice Hockey Final
Four in St. Paul, Minnesota
And MSU picked up the tab.
That three-day excursion cost the
university $1074.20, according to
travel expense records obtained by
the university Reporter-Intelligencer
under the Freedom of Information Act.
For all of 1989, DiBiaggio was reimbursed
by the university for
$20,505.55 in travel expenses.
In 1989, MSU also footed a
$3,476.80 travel expense bill for
Provost David Scott.
DiBiaggio and Scott each earn
more than $100,000, with salaries of
$142,000 and $121,000 respectively.
For the president's part, reimbursement
came for a variety of trips.
They ranged from meetings for the
American Film Institute In Los Angeles
(March 7-10), which totalled $1,500, to
a 22-(jay swing In the Far East to
•Visit alumni and universities with
. linkages to MSU and the Kellogg
International Fellowshlp Program,· to
the March 30-April 1st trip to St. Paul
and the NCAA hockey tournament.
DiBiaggio's 22-day trip to the
Orient - which landed the president
in Seoul, South Korea during the 1988
Summer Olympics - cost the university
about $2,500.
Despite numerous efforts to
contact the president and/or to set up
an interview, DiBiaggio was unavailable
for comment.
When quesioned about ·
DiBiaggio's trip to the hockey finals,
Economics professor Walter Adams,
who was MSU president in 1969-70,
said, "There is a Junction of the
president called 'representation'.
(DiBiaggio) must have considered that
he was representing the university at
the tournament.·
Adams added, "anytime somebody
travels for university business,
he should be reimbursed. There are
policies which say how much you can
spend on meals and the like.·
According to travel vouchers~
DiBiagglo's reimbursable trips serve
one of two purposes:
1) To attend a conference or
meeting; and ·
2) To collect gifts, grants, and
donations from alumni and other
charitable institutions for the university.
Many of these trips falling under
the second category are for the
Capital Campaign, a drive for donations
headed by DiBiaggio.
The Capital Campaign has
brought millions to the university in the
past few years. In 1989, DiBiaggio
totalled about $5,000 in t.ravel expenses
for the Capital Campaign.
Last year, DiBiaggio took 34 trips
spanning 88 days. He was away from
the university from July 9, 1988, to
February 20, 1990 on 139 of 591
days. (See sidebar, p. 3) In that
same 20-month period, DiBiaggio was
re-imbursed for $28,902.83, and in his
49 trips, he averagEid $219.88 a day in
expenditures.
Provost Scott, In the same 591-
day period, sought reimbursement for
only 14 trips that he claimed expenses
on. He missed 42 days In those 20 ·
months. Most of these trips were to
attend meetings of the National
Association of State Universities and
Land Grant Colleg,es (NASULGC).
According to his secretary, Scott
would not be free to discuss his travel
expenses with the uR-1 until mid-June.
In addition to picking up the tab
when the president and provost travel
on business, MSU reimburses the
university's eight trustees.
Although board members are not
paid for their work at MSU, they are
compensated for travel expense$
incurred while on university business.
These compensations added up
to $9,824.99 from July 1988 to
February 1990.
Trustee Barbara Sawyer said the
Trustees claim expenses on "any trip
in which we are representing the
university in an official capacity:
Of the Trustees, Malcolm Dade of
Detroit claimed the most in travel
expenses, specifically $3,794.80 in
the 20-month period from July 1988 to
February 1990.
See TRAVEL, p. 2
2 •university Reporter-Intelligencer 31 May 1990
From TRAVEL, p. 1
In that period, Dade made 26 trips
to East Lansing from Detroit, where he
works for Detroit Edison, each one
costing MSU $46.80, except the six
which came before September 1988.
Before the 1988 school year, adminis-
. trators were given 22.5¢ per mile.
Now, they are allotted 24¢ each mile.
Those half-dozen trips falling
before the increase were worth
$43.87.
Kathy Wilbur, as well as most of
the Trustees, went to a National
Invitational Tournament (NIT) in 1988
to see Michigan State's basketball
team on their way to the Final Four in
that tourney.
Wilbur saw them play in the
national semifinals in New York City.
She claimed $444.05 (not including
airfare) for the trip.
Wilbur explained her claim: "There
are alumni events that are associated
with these events. This is very good
time for the trustees to meet with the
alumni; hear their ideas."
She added that "It's important that
we get input from them and keep in
contact."
On August 29, 1988, Wilbur had
lunch with colleague Sawyer in
Lansing. Sawyer claimed expenses
on the lunch, including $13.32 for
food, 45¢ for mileage, and $1 for
parking.
Although Sawyer decided to bill
MSU, Wilbur said she didn't seek
reimbursement. ·
"I just chose not to, that's all." she
said. 'We had lunch together to talk
about university matters:
Sawyer claimed $1,316. 73 in
expenses over the 20-month period.
In addition to regular trips to the
university, she also claimed $585.19
in expenses for a trip to attend the
NCAA Hockey Final Four on April 2,
1989.
She explained, "I was the only
Trustee there. We had pep rallies and
I was asked to speak there. I'm the
only Trustee who really likes hockey
and that's why I try to keep in touch
with the team and their families.
"The only other administrator
there was President OiBiaggio,"
Sawyer said. "I was expected to be
there:
She also claimed mileage for her
trip to Alma Coliege, where she was
keynote speaker at ~scholastic
awards dinner. She was not compensated
for her speech.
When asked why she claimed
expenses, Sawyer felt she was
representing MSU, and not speaking
on her own behalf.
Trustee Joel Ferguson only
claimed expenses on one trip in the
20-month period. It was a trip to New
York for the NIT games from March
27-30, 1989. The trip cost the universny
$944.91. That's $314.97 a day for
three days.
Similarly,_ Trustee Robert Weiss
went to a NIT game, March 22-23 -
but his expenses tallied $1,330.57.
The Genesee county prosecutor
charged MSU for only two trips from
July 1988, to February 1990, including
$1,545.49 on an unknowri trip to an
unknown desination.
Travel expense receipts for
Trustees Lawrence Owen, Thomas
Reed, arid Deari Pridgeon were not
included in documents released to the
uR-1.
Numerous attempts to contact
those three Trustees were unsuccessful.
Although he never left campus
during his tenure, Adams cautioned
that people should not compare past
administration practices to the pres
·ent.
As president during a turbulent
time at MSU - a time when reporters
wore riot gear and DPS desk officers
had gas masks handy - Adams said
practices that at one time might be
prudent "at another time may be
counterproductive.
"In assessing people, you have to
consider the cont~xt of their time," he
said.
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THE UNIVERSITY REPORTER-INTELLIGENCER Page Three
THE SECOND FRONT PAGE
I
The times they are a changin'
DiBiaggio on road for 28o/o of school year
BY BRIAN MARSHALL
uR-1 ISSUES CORRESPONDENT
The universe is in a constant
state of flux, and MSU is no
exception to the rule of change. ,
A case in point is the amount
of time spent on campus by
MSU's president, which has
decreased drastically since the
days of Walter Adams' reign, from
1969 to 1970.
however, because the president
pays for the first class ticket
upgrades with his own money.
There are other expenses
incurred in the course of
DiBiaggio's travels that might rile
some.
In 1989 alone, President John
DiBiaggio was absentfrom campus
60 of the 213 days that
classes were in session. He was
away from the university for 28
percent of the school year.
.-: : <: ·17 A ·uSi;:,7:s9 ··arrlbef1saa ;;.:;;.· ·: ·l:rustaa·Robeit'E~· weissf .: -: :.- : ... :.:::
, For instance, from November
3-5, 1989, DiBiaggio was in Honolulu,
Hawaii, receiving a gold
medal from the Pierre Fauchard
Academy for his personal achievements
in dentistry. This trip cost
the university $1,516.53, while the
Academy also paid DiBiaggio
$600 for his expenses.
Also, on October 28, 1989, the
president flew to the MSU football
game against Purdue, spending
$84 for the airfare. However, he
returned on the team flight.
A sharp contrast to Adams,
who, in fact, never left the campus
during his stint as president.
. . ... . .... . .. . ... ·.·.·.·.·.·.· ·.·.·.·.·.·.· . . . ··.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.. ·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·
... . . ·· ·.·.-.-.·.· .· .·.·-· ·· ·· ···.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.· . . .
The Spartans won.
Lest one get concerned that
excess dust will collect in Cowles
House, Adams said he believes
DiBiaggio's business off-campus
may be his most vital function.
:~~μ_f:9il.~/.A~~: $Ma~~~~:J@.~9.c;tl~9:\: : <$6ta;~$::f'~h1~!'.~f <: ::<:' :::::;: ... .
From August 26, 1989, to September
9, 1989, DiBiaggio toured
aankok, Moscow, Germany, and
Paris to "Visit universities and . ·
alumni in Bankok, Moscow, Germany,
and Paris."
:(1~12~~§.~~(!!)!l!!i!!!!!!!ajri~r~:!~·:.·: :.:::, tic~~#.6i#;J:i,~f:~~~f~:¢#.~k#'4 > , iil~liRl••••i&ilf!iiil "I never left campus," Adams
said. "When I was president my
main function was to make sure
no buildings were burned down,
no students injured, and no riots started.
"{But) that time is over," he added. "Today,
chec~ us out at Mariah Productions
if you'd f i~e to get involved in live alternative.
music production/promotion
no experience .necessary
r! 318 Union Bldg. 353-4604 ~
the president's major assignment may be as a
fundraiser."
So when DiBiaggio travels, he keeps to
MSU's first class university status - by flying
first class.
Students and taxpayers needn't worry,
The university paid $823.25 for
this trip.
Last year, during the minority
sit-in at the Administration building, President
DiBiaggio was in Chicago from May 21-22, and
in' Washington, D.C., May 24th.
DiBiag.gio could not be reached to comment
on his expenses, despite numerous and
lengthy efforts to contact him.
ID) ®ml() fr if® ll'$@fr fr® ® Jl'©l @JI' JY®lY!Jl' §'LID. IP>@lf IID. ii IP> «J) if if ii «!ll& Il
mffi.c:>II 11@@,_ CC©ftft®mi '"'~ CC®Il §lID.iilffr ft®©l&JY~
Only $12!!!
To order, send your check or drop one off at our Gunson Street offices, 142 university
Reporter-Intelligencer plaza.
Shirt is white with a small uR-1 crest in blue and green on the front,
and a large cres,t in blue and green on back. Be the first on your block!
ollaPi 11 Meu?
Let Us Help You Out-Come To
GARY'S CAMPUS
HAIR SALON
$9.00 Uni-sex Hair Styling ·
"II eHL Ill.we ?fet P'liced ~"
351-6511 • 549 E. Grand Rive
(next to Confection Connection)
M-F 8am-7 m •Sat 9am-2 m
The Friends of the Lansing Public
Library are having the Final
Two Famous 1(2 Price Book
Sales (we close for summer only)
Wed. 6/6/90• l l :30am-7 :~Opm
& Wed. 6/13/90• l l :30am-7 :30pm
at Lansing Public Library, The
Book Burrow, 401 S. Capital Ave.
· Lansing, MI.
I .
I
I
I
'
~'
--
Here today, gone to Maui ...
DiB makes some questionable
claims, is way too inaccessible
In the course of preparing this week's
page one story, the uR-1 confirmed a few
things we_ had long suspected - MSU's
· top officials have no time for students or
just about anyone else who doesn't play a
sport or dish out big bucks to Michigan
State University, and they get reimbursed
for some questionable trips.
Trips such as attending the NIT
tournament and other sporting events.
One trustee, Barbara Sawyer, said it's
important for a trustee to be on hand to
schmooze with filthy rich alumni. Maybe
so, but we question why a// of them have
to go to some events and only one go to
others? And on those trips to NYC, how
come some. trustees did the trip for about
half the cost of other trustees?
Let's not stay at the Waldorf next time,
please sirs and mesdames.
And, as you may have noticed, people
with names like Scott and .DiBiaggio aren't
quoted in Correspondent Brian Marshall's
report. Several trustees are also conspicuous
by their abse,nce. This is not for
lack of effort, we can assure you.
In fact, efforts made since March have
-been unsuccessful in securing comments
from these leading MSU officials. For one
reason or another, the_y were so busy that
they could not return reporter's phone
calls, or would not agree to a meeting.
That means they were working very
hard for us over the past three months.
So hard, in fact, th~ they couldn't
take 15 minutes to call a student and
answer a few simple questions.
Gosh, wonder if they have time to·
listen to us when we need to make a
suggestion about improyingthe university?
Probably not, and we've already seen
their contempt for the MSU community's
wishes (read: AD).
One of the worst offenders all around,
however is President John DiBiaggio, who
not only nevers speaks to the press except
through his lackey Terry Denbow, MSU
Vice President for Propaganda, but seeks
reimbursement for trips that we can not
believe benefit the university - such as a
hefty tab for his trip to Hawaii to accept a
dental accolade - which not only cost us
money, but take him away from his duties
in East Lansing. - _ -
Case in point: DiB was away during
last year's sit-in.
This must change. MSU needs a
hands-on president, not a globe-trotting
fund raiser. Llet someone else do that job.
We also need a president who talks to
the students and the media - and not just
through controlled statements doled out by
a minion from Linton Hall. And when DiB
does come down from his ivory tower, it
would be nice if it wasn't just when he
doesn't want someone to get a certain
position in the athletic department.
And even then, it would be nice if he
wouldn't blame the press for something,
he, himself, went public with.
We must, however, thank former
President Walter Adams for taking time to
talk to the uR-1 the FIRST time we called.
Things sure have changed in less
than 20 years, haven't they?
What has Oprah's butt, a shit-eating grin, a bark like lassie, and Eddie
Mu·rphy's ear?
Give it up for this week's Geek - Arseniooooooooooo Hall!
A whole Arse. Or do we have that backwards?
Yes, you obsequeous suck hole, your flattery and fawning over ·the most
putrid celebrities you can find makes you a natural for geek 'o the
dishonors.
Your annoying attempts to play the homeboy and then - five minutes
later - the suave sophisticate are intensely painful to sit through. Only
Pat Sajak is worse (barely).
What hath Hollywood wrought!
Say it ain't so, Jack (Parr, that is)!
What's that? You want to mention the uR-1 on next week's show? It's your
most favoritest paper in the whole universe and elsewhere?
Gosh, maybe called this one all wrong, afteralL
the
university
Reporter-Intelligencer
31 May 1990
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31 May 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer· 5
Andre's back
This essay is about a white man who
hates any black leader who stands up for
his people. Inside the white racist mind is
the feeling of fearfulness and the ignorance
of black people. He's afraid that if a
black leader succeeds in raising up and
organizing black people, then the blacks
will do the same things to whites that have
been done to the blacks for the past 400
years. The racist believes that black
people will rule and dominate over white
people. But what this racist doesn't
understand is that black people only want
to rule themselves. This person doesn't
see it that way; the eyes are blinded on
what black people really want.
I really don't care how people feel
about me, as Jong as their negative
feelings don't affect me in a dangerous
way. If anyone's feelings and thoughts
threaten me, then that's a force I will have
to deal with, not ignore. The racist in this
article has bad feelings about blacks and
is in a position to perhaps brainwash
others. He happens to be the owner of a
local newspaper.
A group of young, angry blacks are
protesting outside Rick Markowski's
newspaper building. Ralph Hollman, a
\oca\ b\ac'K. \eader, has an appointment to
see Markowski about the bias and
discrimintory practices in his newspaper
coverages. Inside the building, Hollman
and Markowski were in a match of
screaming. Hallman jumped up and said,
"I accuse your newspaper of being racist,
and I find you guilty as charged. Your
punishment will be for black people to
boycott this paper. If I can't make you
stop being a racistwith my words, then
subtracting my money might do the trick."
One of Ralph's advisers whispered in
his ear that it would be better to start up a
black newspaper. His adviser added, "if
we had our own newspaper, then we could
battle Markowski's paper. It would kind of
be like the battle between the truth and the
lies." But Hollman wanted to have
integration. He wanted to prove to himself
that he could make white people love and
accept him.
Ralph and the protesters outside were
upset at Markowsk,i's brutal attack on their
national leader, Fred Cobbs. Fred Cobbs
was raising the consciousness of black
people internationally. Ralph wanted
Markowski to stop attacking their national
leader. Ralph said "everything you printed
about Fred was taken out of context."
Markowski told Ralph, "You haven't seen
nothing yet; wait until next week when I
release my secret file on Fred Cobbs."
Markowski finally told Ralph that he
wouldn't print the file, only on the condition
that Cobbs step down as the national
black leader. Markowski handed Ralph a
copy of the secret file and told him to have
''fun reading it." Ralph ran out of the office
with the file in his and and then jumped on
a plane headed for Atlanta to meet with
Cobbs.
While Ralph was on the plane, he read
the secret file about his national leader.
The file didn't look good; it said that Cobbs
was a hater of whites, that he advocated
violence, was a communist and a promiscuous
man. When he reached the Atl;inta
headquaters, he had decided to just tell
Cobbs straight out what was happening.
Ralph went directly to Cobb's office and
explained everything about Markowski and
his paper. After thinking about the
situation for a couple of hours, Cobbs
decided to ignore everything Markowski
was going to say.
As Cobbs gradually began to talk more
frequently, so did Markowski through the
publication of his propaganda.
Markowski's newspaperwas multiplying,
and people were beginning to believe what
he wrote. Now, a majority of Cobb's
lectures were focused on defending
himself against Markowski. It got to the
point where he wasn't lecturing on
anything else but the lies that people said
about him. More and more people started
to protest everywhere Cobbs was speaking.
Eventually, 75%of his lectures had to
be cancelled for security reasons. Also,
there had been five reported attempts on
Cobbs' life.
In New York City, Cobbs spoke to
50,000 people about the problems facing
the world. He spoke only for ten minutes
when six people stood up in the crowd and
fired their Uzi's at Cobbs. The six gunmen
ran out of the building, leaving Cobbs
dead. Everybody in the audience went
hysterical, and they couldn't believe that
their national leader was shot dead.
After Cobbs' funeral was over, a black
television station conducted an investigation
of how and why Cobbs was killed.
The station invited Rick Markowski, Ralph
Hollman, and the six apprehended
gunmen. The six gunmen were shackled
together, explaining to the news reporter
why they murdered Cobbs. They said that
they killed him because of the newspaper
reports. One of the gunmen said, "I
though I was doing my country a favor by
killing a man who preached hate and
violence." Ralph interrupted the gunmen
and said, "Everything written negatively
about Cobbs was taken out of context."
The television reporter agreed with Ralph
and said that during their investigation
they had reviewed reports from the CIA,
FBI, and local police but could find no
evidence of Cobbs' being anything like
how he was described and charged as
being in the newspapers.
The station also played some of
Cobbs' speeches to the six gunmen. After
listening to the tapes for a couple of
months while iri prision, they admitted
killing Cobbs was a terrible'mistake •. The
gunmen apologized for assasinating him
and said.that they were brainwashed by
lies. Ralph jumped up and said; "giving an
apology can't help him now."
At the end of the television program,
the reporter gave a final statement: "The
next time you pick up a newspaper, book,
or anything written, always read the
material critically. Never let anyone tell
you something when you can find out
for yourself. This is a sad case of a
newspaper that went too far. Markowski
molded peoples' minds to violent acts to
the ultimate degree. Am sorry Mr.
Markowski wasn't able to speak because
our time on TV has run out. At this very
moment, the same scenario we discussed
may or may not be happening. The views
and opinions of this television station may
be yours.
Enjoy,
Andre Austin
C'mon, Happening!
uR..f:
As MSU's self-proclaimed "alternative"
newspaper you sure know very little abet ·
"alternative" music. I agree with your
review of the They Might Be Giants show,
Vol. I, No. 24. Theyweregreat. That's
why I think they deserve to have their song
titles printed correctly. First, it's "Ana Ng,"
not ,;Anga Eng." Secondly, "Little Green
Bottle?" How about "Lie Still, Little Bottle.''
I suggest a geography course for" lnstam:
bul not Contantinobul" ("Istanbul, not
Constantinople"). ls "Birdcage in You
Soul" the follow-up to "Bird House in Your
Soul?" Is it out on ab-side?
-Jay Krzewinski,
Microbiology major
- Ouchi Unfortunately, RON
HAPPENtNGis so happening that he
rarely has time to double checks
things. He will no ltmger be~ part of
theuR-L
-ed.
C'mon everyone else!
Dear Editorial Staff:
In reading editorials, I attempt to keep
the distinction between opinion and fact
clearly in mind and judge based on the
author's ability to argue rationally. Thus,
most pro-abortion/pro-choice pieces I
disagree with forthe basic viewpoint. But
your piece in the May 16 uR-1 had two
severe problems beyond this.
First, you argue that, in the 50 million
induced abortions performed worldwide,
200,000 women die of complications- a
rate of 0.4% You then claim that RU 486,
with a complications or failure rate of 2-
4%, should be adopted as a far safer
method.
This claim is altogether unjustified
unless you explain what the complications
that arise from RU 486 are, and prove that
they are relatively minor. My understanding
of the abortifacient is that the major
complication is severe bleeding, something
wich is indeed minor in the United
States and other developed countries, but
which could easlily lead to death in a thirdworld
·nation.
The other major complication, as I
understand it, is the possibility that the pill
doesn't work and the child continues to
live and develop, but with severe defects.
This means that, first, women who use this
abortion method must be prepared to use
another, and, second, that this use of this
pill must not be triavialized because if it is
used without medical supervision -well, I
won't continue, because I do not have
much knowledge about the subject. You,
however, shoud be awqare of the specific
nature of the risks involved, and should
take those into consideration in editorializing
on the merits of RU 486.
Secondly, you state that "if American
women can choose what form of birth
control methods to use, then they also
should have the right to alternative
abortion procedures." Contraception and
abortion are completely different issues;
so are contraceptives and abortifacients.
With the exception of the Roman Catholic
stand (and, I admit, the views of some
extremists in the pro-life movement), birth
control is not a moral or religious issue, but
an issue of practicality and reliability-the
major reason that any birth controV
contraceptive method has been opposed
has been the issue of health, safety and ·
risk. (I especially have in mind the IUD.)
Abortion, the termination of pregnancy
by destruction of pernatal life, to put the
issue in its simplest terms, is an issue of
morality and of human rights. No matter
which side of the issue one comes out on,
whether one believes that the issue is one
which can be left up to the woman or one
in which the state must intervene because
of the overriding importance of the
preservation of human life, the issues of
abortion and birth control must not be
confused, no matter how "invisible"
abortion can become. This trivializes the
issue and turns the argument away from
rationality and toward the extremes on
both sides, or, rather, toward a simple
accusation and name-calling by both sides
of the extremists on the other side, both
pro-lifers who accuse all pro-choicers of
describing the fetus/unborn child as a blob
of tissue analogous to an appendix, and
pro-choicers who accuse all pro-lifers of
opposition to all forms of birth control or .
sex education, and acceptance of only
procreative sex within marriage or the
rhythm method. '
Incidentally, I have no problem with
calling "the opposition" pro-choice, if they
will address their opposition as pro-life qr
even anti-abortion, ratherthan anti-choice.
I believe in the availability of choices for
myself and for all women; before pregnancy
these include choices in the
circumstances under which to engage in
sex and the type of protection to use, and
after pregnancy, these decisions center on
how to care for and raise the child, both
prenatally and after birth, whether alone,
with the father (ideally, also the husband},
or in an adoptive home.
I siirply do not accept abortion as
one of these options.
As for the other issue of terminology,
those who object to the use of the phrase·
"unborn child" would do well to look up the
word in the dictionary: "an unborn
offspring;fetus" (Webser's New World,
definition two).
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Jensen
Abramoff sucks!
To Whom it may concern:
This is in response to Phil Abramoff's
letter appearing May 23, 1990 in the uR-1.
Well, Well, Well.
Isn't "Phildo-the-Dildo-Abramoff" quite
the outspoken candidate for man of the
year award? '
We were quite surprised by the
assumed correlation between increasing
rape and divorce rates to abortion. We
guess Phil, being the astute statistics
student that he is, has found the root of all
of society's problems. "That's right folks.
Mr. Abramoff states that most problems in
the United States are directly caused by
abortion.)
Also, the relation between breaking
and entering, and freedom of choice/right
to privacy is way beyond any comprehension.
Hey Phildo, been dropping too much
LSD recently? (Actually, if you were
tripping on LSD, you'd be seeing some
kind of light - not just blind anger.)
We believe stating our moral and legal
issues is irrelevant at this point. Your
irrational presentation of the Abortion
See KILLPHIL, p. 6
6 • university Reporter-Intelligencer 31 May 1990
. M.L.
Elrick
This is not going to be your typical
gocxj..:bye column from some sappy,
choked-up senior.
No, this one is going to be a little
different.
This is going to be one from a
completely fed-up, frustrated, somewhat
bitter asshole who is looking
forward to better things.
Sure, I'll miss MSU, but I prefer to
look at my departure from East
Lansing not as a graduation but as an
escape.
An escape from one of the most
bureaucratic, hypocritical, self-serving
sinkholes in the state.region, country,
and world. Save for supernovas and
imploding stars, I can think of nothing
larger or more wasteful In the universe
than this_ bureaucratic clusterfuck
shrouded in green and white.
And let us not forget East Lansing!
No, what a paradise!
The city and the residents hate us
- even though we account for most
of the money that allows them to shop
at Jacobson's, drive their Oldsmobiles
Tom
% McWi II iams
What can we do to get representation
around here at MSU??
Well, don't get too uptight.
Students only pull down about
30% of the tab here. Not only do
others (like Michigan Taxpayers)
have an interest here, but.30%
translates to "not a hell of a lot of
power.;' And power really is the
issue.
The Admin could-give a shit
about protests, demands, literature,
reason, goodwill, logic,
morals, or responsibility. The only
time they care is when they fear
rocks and bottles might actually be
Sage words of a graduate: Free
at last, Oh Lord, I'm free at last!
and collect truces to hire more police
and parking enforcement officers to
carry out the occupied-territory
mentality laws and ordinances they
pass year after year.
Oh, and let's dispel! another myth.
City of the Arts.
Gimme a bre.ak. To most of the
·people in this cowtown, an old L'il
Abner cartoon in a frame would be a
masterpiece. They're still putting up
banners to celebrate the return of
Pogo.
No, this is not a City of the Arts.
It's an internment camp in which
the jailers feed off the prisoners.
It used to be a nice town, in which
you could relruc and have fun if you
didn't ruin the downtown or anyone
else's property. If you did, you· got
nailed and justice was done. But
today, you can't even have a few
friends over for a little geeker without
someone knocking on your door and ·
arresting you for running a_speakeasy.
How long •tn the cops start wearing
brown shirts instead of blue?
No, this place is bugged and if the
students don't register to vote and
flush out the current administration
floating at the top of the bowl, it will
never be saved.
Boy, can I bitct1 when I'm on a rolL
That's one thing this place has taught
me; in screaming, I get out of here
magna cum laude.
thrown. Then, they u~ually just
fumigate us with sweet talk. The
Sit-In last Spring should have
proven that to you, if nothing else.
So, what power do we really
have??
This place was created by the
Michigan Constitution, which
required state funds to be apportioned
for the "dissemination and
furtherment of agricultural knowledge."
This means that the system
of Trustee election (which
calls for demo-publican party
hacks, not people from MSU, to
run the place) can't change without
a change in basic state law.
Not much help to us there.
A tuition strike would be eff ective.
But when you consider that
the seniors (and a lot of the
juniors) just want to get the hell
out before the term change comes
down, and the freshman are
generally still clueless, that leaves
only say 25% of the students that
actually would participate. So,
25% of 30% of the dough leaves
But we come here for the school ·
and not the city anyway, right? Let's
forget - just for a moment - that the
two perpetuate each other, living on
forever in a symbiotic, incestual
relationship.
So, OK, boosters and drooling
alumni, come kick me in the teeth and
ask me why did I stay for the
duration.in my case five years.
Because of the people.
Not everyone at MSU is a total
brickhead or lazy prof trying to skate
through with a sheaf of yellowed notes
and a beaten-up corduroy jacket.
Half the students who came here
avoided Michigan because they
couldn't stand the pretentiousness
and pseudo-intellectual superiority
bred in the mosquito bog called Ann
Arbor. And the other half were just
too dumb to get in.
But the problem here lies in the
administration and those who swear
fealty to the frustrated dictators
running the joint.
Oh, but let's not forget THE LAND
GRANT MISSION!
You mean put white males on top,
rob the Indians, and slash and burn
the land?
God knows, we haven't forgotten
that credo here at Michigan State.
You a minority?
Shut up, we're doing all we can.
You like the rolling, lush, green
- McWilliams appears
weekly in the uR-1. Write him -
he wants your letters, man!
campus?
Shut up and get away from that
tree, hippie, we're building another
engineering or business annex here.
You ne0d time to earn money and
get out of here?
Shut up and take all the credits
you can swallow in block tuition (it's
coming kids, don't fool yourselves.
What the provost wants, he gets, i.e.
semester system).
You got a problem?
Love it or leave it, you pinko, U-Mloving,
commie bastard scum!
Well, I do love it, and would -
infinitely more without you cretins at
the helm. So I've done my time and
met some wonderful people and I'm
leaving.
But just because you got your way
with me doesn't mean it's right.
Let's remember that academia
strives for a utopia that will never
come to pass - but that doesn't
mean we should stop trying to create
the perfect environment.
And to those at Fort Hannah who
have given up the fight: Shame on
you.
I'm gone, but someday my kid will
be back, and damned if I'm going to
let you shit all over him the way you
crapped on me and my commrades.
See you in 20 years - and you
better have your act together ...
I
k knew she would be gone when I came back Y • ' and I was still upset. The summer heat was 1 e S . harsh and my hair clung to the sweat of my
brow, buggingmelikepepperin the nose.
I walked across the road and onto the
university's campus, where I eventually
BY J. JosEPH CoNRICODE found whatlwaslookingfor - thefountain
in the garden.
'Will you go to bed with me?," I asked. Water shot upwards in slender col-
"No. Now now," she said, and my face umns, peaked and separated into drops
flushed. I was angry. before raining in the circular pool below. I
We sat for 10 minutes. Neither of us sripped naked and looked down toward
spoke. I looked out the window thinking my feet. For that moment, I couldn't blame
of stained glass and how I once poked my her or any woman repulsed by men. My
fist through a pane depicting the paschal ·right foot felt the water and the other
lamb at Saint Patrick's Church. With blood followed suit moving closer to the center.
snaking like a river from my .knuckles to The fountain showered over my body in a
fingertips, I gathered small shards in my shock of cold, freezing in contrast to the
cupped palm and popped the pieces into balmy July air and my mind projected
my mouth as if they were M&M's. Chew- frames of a somewhat clouded memory.
ing. Crunch, crunch in the shade of 2 a.m., Six months earlier, I had been found in
I, some nocturnal madman and ... oh, dear a snowbank half-clothed, half-dead by
Jesus ... I've got to get out of here. frantic family members and a host of police
Her resentment followed me as I stood officers. Recovery via psychiatry:
and walked tom y desk. I picked up an "What were you diong outside in bare
anthology of poems, pretended to look for feet without a shirt?"
a particular passage and, in silence, , 'What? Oh, ... I don't know."
pleaded with her to change her mind. "Do you ever hear voices when nobody
She heard every word I thought but is around?"
refused to give in. No ... the bitch needed I turned 18 and quit therapy. I was fine,
her lesbian lover tonight. Not a man ... No. dear Jesus. Just get me out of here.
She wanted that wide-hipped, stringy- I slipped back into my shorts leaving
haired, reptillian-faced atrocity with the my shoes, shirt and fountain behind as I
small breasts. walked to Morrill Hall. After locating the
Fine, then, you little Gertrude Stein. fire escape on the building's side, I as-
You're a fish and I'm a bicycle tonight and cended the zig-zagging stairwell. At the
you won't have me and you won't care. top, the stairs became a ladder and I
But I will. So get out and let your tongue quickly climbed to the roof. For a long
and hands wander the flesh of your faii sex ·-·time I stood wondering at the city's incanand
leave me frustrated until tomorrow descence, all the.while repeating the 23rd
night when you need your ... Oh ... oh ... oh Psalm aloud. -
... man. A low mortar wall squared the.
But I was the one who left the house. I rooftop's perimeter. I jumped up to its
width, squatted down like a leapfrog, and
looked over the edge, five stories down to
the concrete sidewalks which seemed to
form anarchy's symbolic A. Holding the
pose, my muscles petrified and panic
seized all my facultip. In the far distance I
glimpsed a tiny wl}ite structure I knew to
be the capital. Oh,' my head pregnant with
thoughts of flight's freedom, silently saying,
''I .know I can fly."
A new wave of panic pulled the f~bers·
of musculature taut; I had turned to stone.
Mouth agape, saliva dribbled ewer my
lower lip, falling 65 feet to the ground. I
was suddenly sruck with an image: Me, a
drooling, neo-Gothic gargoyle perched on a
parapet ready to take wing, grotesquely
contorted countenance expressing sheer
horror. This freedom I had frightened me.
This freedom to fly, freedom to go mad,
freedom of choice and knowing that every
action I made was a reaction to choice.
Jesus, you died to take away our sins,
but for me, thi~ is not enough. Die once
more, dear Jesus, and this time, take 'lway
our liberty to sin. Please, God, take it
away. I don't want it. Take away my
freedom.
My knee jerked, the city lights swirled
for one dizzy moment, and the world went
black.
Haiku·1
BY: JENNY CROMIE
Man is so.advanced
he's created a greenhouse
to cook himself in .
uR-1 LITERARY SuPPLEMENT STAFF: Malynda Little and M.L. Elrick, editors; Tresa Baldos, word processing
/
/
. --- -- - ----
my mother's birthday. There's a
crystal heart underneath that my
father and I picked out for their 25th
wedding anniversary. Jewelry boxes
line the bottom. ''You can take that
one," she says, pointing to JOHN'S
THINGS. "Tell him if he wants his
camera, he'll have to take me to
court" Like I'm going to tel.I him that.
"Any other messages?" I ask sarcastiBv:
KEVIN TEN BRJNIC
. .
Lady of
the Lake
BY: TROYE FRANK
Once upon a time, in a land of
pomp and grace,
I met a strange lady, who
claimed to be my bride
This lady in the trees, never
before had I seen,
Yet flowing, and how supple
she was, like an ebb tide
The eyes of this lady! So subtle,
yet oddly I dreamed,
Yet my dream, I would make
no mistake
This was my lady, in the land of
pomp and grace
As she flowed through each
wave in Ipanema,
The slow, hot wind shuddered,
as I muttered
Look at me - Lady! Are you
indeed the queen of Sheeba?
The eyes of the lady looked at
me, then through me
Ever turning in a blurry purple
haze
I keeled, as if I had seen Poe's
lady by the sea - Annabel Lee?
Then looking, I ran and fell by
her tree in the cool Autumn
shade
Though none of her beauty for
myself could I take
From this lady, in the land of
pomp and grace
Forward I swam, as beside the
stream she walked
Nor could I see here golden
cheeks of glistening infinity,
Struggled against the tide did I
as I could not hear her as she
talked
RedRum -The
is Grey
BY: JENNY CROMIE
Soweto
is black and white,
white against black,
black against white . .
Black wants grey,
but white fights
for absolutes.
Absolutism drips
red,
red rum, Mandela says.
And Biko
says in death
black and white
are the same color.
Gabriel, come blow your
horn
a.little louder ...
DeKlerk sits deaf in his
white Cadillac,
drinking red rum
and Absolut.
Abortion
Bv: }ENNY CROMIE
The embryos
on the apple tree were
aborted
during last night's colpblooded,
.
surgical frost.
Their half-developed bodies
lie in a pink cemetery
around their mother's feet like
unwanted children.
Swallowing
the Moon
BY: JENNY CROMIE
An empty house sits
atthe end of the road
where a woman
wanders vacantly from room to room.
- She peers through the window pane
through lifeless eyes, .
sips her drink
and swallows the moon.
Her light goes out
as I wnistle past the graveyard
and darkness dies to sleep.
Feeling this conflict away from
her as a .,christening to my
divinity
I stroked and stroked, without
pause in motion,
Yet she still seemed moons
ahead of me, thinking not of my
insipid devotion·
The sun scorched my brow
beneath the midday clouds
As still I felt the lady abating
my crooning
Covering herself in the dew of a
kelley-green shroud
A song I sung, to put together
out of a desperate tuning,
But I screamed! I screamed into
the sky far aloud!
Just when the
lady of grace, plunged into the
lake -
and
drowned.
31 May 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer· 11
Trabian
Shorters
This letter is to the dead and
dying. It's meant as polemic prose for
those who would make this land a
better land. If what I say offends
anyone, then I know I said it right.
What is the difference between a
witness and a criminal or between a
racist and a bigot or a coward and a
fighter? The difference is honesty and
action.
The criminal admits that (s)he
doesn't respect the law, a bigot admits
"I don't respect all people as equals;
and a fighter admits that s(he) is
vicious.
Located outside of Wells Hall and
the lnt'I Center are three shanty
buildings, erected as modes of
expression by students to raise
awareness of the campus at large.
At first, the goal of the El Salvadoran
church replica was intended to
raise consciousness of students of the
U.S. funded bloodletting in Central
America. It is a campus group's
critique of U.S. foriegn policy and the
taxpayer's support of it.
However, the MSU administration
sees things differently. The admin
has denied the right to erect these all
along (they only approved a FratRush-
like sandwich board for eight
days), and have attempted to justify
their removal of the shanties through
the smokescreen of saying they are
ugly, aesthetically unpleasing.
So the admin has changed the
direction of our fight and yo(Jr role.
What is. at stake here is not the
church, _El Salvador or the tens of
thousands murdered at the hands of
U.S. financed death squads.
What is now at stake is the right of
student expression through peaceful
student means.
The administration's response and
attempted actions (the shanties may
be gone by the time you read this) are
no less, in my opinion, than blatant
violation of fundamental First Amend-
A letter to the dead and dying ...
- . -
Whereas the witness, the racist
and the coward say "I believe in
justice, I believe in equality, I believe
In peace.· But they don't.
We as Americans have been
taught to believe that those ideas are
good, but that's not the same as
believing in them. We do not work to
attain these aloof principles. Most of
us do nothing to prove that we
believe in those principles.
Saying "I believe in .. ." proves that
you were told what to believe in, but
did anyone ever tell you how to show
that you believe in these ideas?
Most of us can read about rape
after rape, murder after murder, and
never feel compelled to actively put
an end to the injustices. We won't
band together for these noble causes.
Instead, we lie to ourselves and
each other about our real beliefs. We
believe in money, materials and
capitalism. This is what we work for
and fight for and believe in. We are
taught how to show that we believe in
these things.
This is the sum of your value.
You are the normal American. You
are the majority. You devote your
body and mind to gluttony and starve
your spirit with your Iuka warm devotion
to melba toast principles.
H is this spiritual emaciation and
self-delusion, not the honest criminalbigot-
fighter, that is to blame for the
sick and sorry state that America is in.
How can crime run rampant when
-the majority of American people
believe in justice? How can bigotry kill
in a place where the principle of
equality is shared by all? How long
can you lie to yourself and pretend
that things are okay here in the USA?
There's no room for Civilization in
such a technological society. These
days, caring about each other doesn't
yield a high enough dividend. The
criminal, the bigot, and the fighter are
minorities these days, but the uncaring
witness, the uninformed racist and
the unmotivated coward are the
majority.
When I fight for the causes that t
believe in oustice, equality. peace and
family) I recognize that I am fighting
for a society that cares. That's
something you capitalist-individualists
don't seem to understand.
When I put on my beret and black
clothes some see me as a criminal in
the making, some as closet bigot, and
some as dedicated fighter. I am all
these things the same way that Louis
Farrakhan, Martin Luther King, Jr.,
Malcom X, A. Phillip Randolph and
Marcus Garvey were these things.'
Truth, pride and education are radical
concepts to fools.
- Shorters is editor-in-chief of
Focal Point
What the Church means to me ... sup~~0h~~~~~~~~~h~~tiesfrom
ment rights. I repeat: MSU IS COM- But the administration has tried to different groups that stand as testimo-
MITTING NO LESS THAN A VIOLA- appease us with an 8-day lease. This nials to the daily horror of, for ex-
TION OF FIRST AMENDMENT concession by the administration ample, South Africa. U-M allows
RIGHTS. cannot become a compromise for us students to tell other students that
, It is the suppression of modes students. Homelessness and the Civil racist structures of apartheid are as
through which students may com mu- War in El Salvador is not an 8-day · everpresent as the shanty (even with
nicate and with one another; that problem. As the homeless and Mandala's release!).
students may carry on a dialogue and, Salvadoran people live 24 hours a day Have we come so far as to forget
most Importantly, ways that students with their strife and burden, we want Voltaire's cliche, "I might disagree with
may better educate themselves. to, WE MUST, acknowledge that. We what you say but I will fight to the
Students are providing a service that · cannot console ourselves with a death defending your right to say it.·
this overpriced, overcrowded excuse token, one-week gesture and call that I will use and re-use this quote
for education rarely does: the con- activism. We cannot say that a one- until people remember it and actualize
frontation of ideas, knowledge, week tribute will benefit the homeless it. So, if you do not agree with us that
perception and consciousness. (1/3 of wich are families; 1/4 have the U.S. is indeed exploiting the Third
The past few weeks guarding the jobs). By removing the shanties the world, please join us in our fight to
church has been a glorious experi- _ administration is saying that these exist (by signing our petition for one).
ence. Every hour that I stand there problems do nwith my fellow dedicated sudents, we there are no homeless students (BUT one person argues (then corporations
discuss, argue, scream, talk and THERE ARE!); that our money doesn't in the Rain forests would be violating
challenge ideas with passerbys. I am go to fund torture and a w~r against your rights). Sure, the, shanties are
letting them know what I feel is U.S.- the poor in El Salvador (BUT IT . not pretty, but war is not pretty and we
supported injustice in the Third World, DOES, DAMMIT!). will not beutify homelessness or
and they respond. But before the If we fund a war then let's forget racism.
shanties went up, how many students about it; if homelessnes.s is a part of To the administartion, I argue the
were aware that 75 percent of the America (if not because of America), Constitution and INALIENABLE rights
$1.5 million we send everyday to El then let's not forget about it. And and they respond with "convenience"
Salvador goes to their military; that furthermore, let's do something about and "beauty• as barometers for
this money paid for the majority of the it. Once we have our right to the freedom of speech. What wo1,1ld
74,000 deaths of Salvadoran citizens; church we will campaign to mobilize Thomas Jefferson or James Madison
that, among other things, El Salvador students to protest the government say between these two competing
is 90 percent deforested? We are and change foreign policy. But, until interests?
students expressing our disgust, then, we fight a simultaneous fight for More importantly, what do you
wanting to make others aware. expression. Not for aesthetics or think? (Your elected student repre-
And the administration has left us effectiveness or convenience. sentatives have supported us in the
with little institutional means to The administration has tried to past). What I say and how I say it is
express our dissent. There is no argue that the building is ugly, as if defined on my terms and in my eyes,
guarantee that The State News or uR- Sparty and Case Hall are preeminent not the administration.
I will print our editorials and we have examples of aesthetic architecture. · - As John Cougar Mellencamp
no money for presentations, as.some AMERICAN CITIZENS PAID FOR sings, "If you don't stand for some-
ASMSU groups do. The administra- THE KILLING AND MUTILATION OF thing, you'll fall for everything:
tion has taken steps to suppress SIX INNOCENT PRIESTS AND THE Don't fall for the administration's
controversial speech, like Minister ADMINISTRATION IS ARGUING disinformation and_ stand for student
Farrakhan. And now they are going "AESTHETICS?· rights.
after us. But it's not about speech. We do not accept this argument
It's about "funded racism" or "aesthet- _ and neither should you.
ics" or "racism." That's a Constitutionally protected speech
smokescreen. can be non-verbal according to
- Bryant is director of
ASMSU's Great Issues, and a
member of CELA .
Troye
Frank
A fool has no delight in understanding,
but in expressing his own heart.
Proverbs 18:2
At first glance, this seems like any
old regular scriptural saying that we
have heard old wise men repeat down
through the years paying no attention to
the possible significance it could reflect
in our every day lives, (especially as
college students in tis day and age).
And I'd be willing to bet that usually, we
all just merely dismiss wise words like
these as appendages of over inflated
egos born from having lived more years
on this earth than you and I have. We
probably experience this syndrome with
parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
etc. But this scripture is the first to come
to mind when contemplating the ideas
and teachings of one of today's greatest
and perhaps most socially influential
leaders.
Louis Farrakhan.
The platform and ideas of Minister
Farrakhan are indeed very interesting '
and thought provoking if nothing else,
and like most people, many of his ideas
I totally agre~ with, and some I don~.
That is my right as a natural born citizen
of the U.s. Naturally, as any half-way
intelligent person should do, I discern.
I discerns from what I consider to
be the three elements of what I call the
"Farrakhan Formula." ·
The Farrakhan Formula is the
systematic analysis of determining what
to take and what to-discard, and also
what to really think and feel about the
ideas of the Minister and the man.
There are, as I've mentioned, three
elements to this formula. The three
elements to the formula are: ·
1) what I, as an intelligent youth
think to be the truth;
2) what I think is Minister
Farrakhan's personal opinion, and;
3) my opinion based off of historical
fact as it compares to the ideas of
Minister Farrakhan.
· As you can see, this formula is
derived from the concept and idea thal
we all - especially black youth entering
the 90s - must think for ourselves.
This also comes from the ideal that we
as black people must be in a constant
attempt to think not with our emotions,
but with our reason and logic.
I know that in this time of the resurgence
of facism in America, it's hard to
mentally tum away the fiery prose and
spellbinding oratory of a man as
dynamic as Minister Farrakhan. And
I'm not saying we should, but again, we
must discern.
We can't just blindly believe and
live by the ideas of a great leader that is
. Farrakhan Formul·a· makes it add up
saying what we think we want to and
ought to hear. That is dangerous. In
fact, that is more dangerous than the
most organized system of beauracratic,
institutionalized racism imaginable, or a
bigot with a rifle. And it could conceivably
bring about a spiritual and psychological
death in our people that would
be more slow and torturous than a rot
canal in the dentist's chair. And again, I
admonish you all as my people that I
love, just to do one thing - discern.
Use this formul? which I have given you
as your chief tool in your personal
process of discernment.
Now, I know that everyone at this
point is probably asking, what do I
mean?
For instance, we all remember
Minister Farrakhan's visit to our campus
in FebruarY. We all also remember the
many subjects on which he spoke,
oftentimes shedding new light on them,
and.oftentimes - get ready for this
'NOrd y'all - deceiving.
'" Yes, that's right. Deceiving.]
but before you all judge me, as the
Minister likes to say, listen to me, as we
so vigorously and intently listened to
him that night.
Fair enough? Thank you.
Now I know that the Minister
believes that knowledge has always
served as the chief weapon of mankind
along with and second only to the
human mind, and with the Minister
probably being one of the greatest
learners of our time, I'm sure he would
commend me for the learning process
that I'm about to kick to my people. Her
wegol
You all remember w hen the
Minister referred to deposed Panamanian
dictator Manuel Noriega as
President Bush's "student" and implied
that we had no right to invade Panama
the way we did. And that it (the invasion)
was just another component of the
white man's conspiracy of genocide
against the colored peoples of the
world?
You see, here, the Minister made it
appear as though the U.s. had no
factual basis for the invasion whatsoever.
Never mind the fact that the U.s.
Justice Department had confiscated
receipts of trips and indirect hotel bills
that pointed to the fact that Mr. Noriega ,
had personally done business with
some of South America's biggest drug
dealers. And that the U.s. also recovered
receipts of phone bills that showed
that the Colonel had also talked to
these people and been in contact with
them for extended periods of time.
The Minister also made it appear as
though a Panama Canal Treaty doesn~
exist and that this treaty and its expiration
in 1999 had nothing to do ~ith our
decision to invade. for space and time
purposes, I won~ get into· the history
and logistics of this treaty and U.S.
intentions as such. but I do challenge
you as black youths to go to the library
and look up the history of the Panama
Canal, the country of Panama, and the
history of relations between the US.
and Panama When you have completed
this project, you should have a
more educated point of view concerning
this issue. I'm not trying to make the
U.s.intentions toward Panama and Mr.
Noriega seem lily-white, because they
most certainly aren~. ·but I am trying to
illustrate to ;you all that there is just
simply more to the picture of ,U.S. world
relations here than Minister Farrakhan
presents.
Another grave instance where we
must apply the Farrakhan formula is
when the Minister makes colonel
Moamar Kadafi of Lybia out to be a
poor little colored dictator of the world
that the U.s. bombed because we
simply had nothing better to do.
Colonel Kadafi is a legally proven,
admitted world terrorist. never mind the
fact that the U.S. government had
proven Mr. Kadafi to have had a part in
the bombing of a Berlin disco club
where American soldiers were killed in
1985 or his part in the Rome airp.ort
massacre the previous year. And his
famous line of death policy concerning
the Gulf of Sidra in 1986 where he said
that any U.s. sips conducting maneuvers
of any kind past a certain longtitude
would be fired upon, and consequently
were fired upon fist. He also
painted the picture that both of these
invasions were ''failed assassination
attempts."
Wrongl think about it people,
(using the formula) no logically, what
good would Gen. Noriega be to the U.s.
dead? And for what logical reason
would we outright murder col. Kadafi in
such a blatant and public fashion? did
you all know that our scanning equipment
and radar equipment that we have
in our fighter planes is so advanced that
it could dictate and differentiate the
landing of a bomb in one room from
another from at least 80,000 feet? And
did you all also know that when Minister
Farrakhan started the NOi in 1968 his
first $5 million loan came from guess
. who?
colonel Moamar Kadafi.
No, my brothers and sisters, I hope
that I have shown ;you as clearly as
possible through these facts and challenges
how to use the Farrakhan
Formula in not only listening to the
message of the Minister, but in listening
to any type of propaganda that is
passed forward to you as a member of
the American public today. We must
discern for ourselves and o this through
he constant reach for knowledge. We
might want to ask ourselves, do we
really need to wear African medallions
and preach about Mandela when not
even half of us know anything about our
mother land besides its shape? Let
alone any tangible history of the African
national congress, the wars that brought
white rule in south Africa about, and the
laws that created apartheid?
We might want to ask ourselves if
holding a whole race of Jewish people
accountable for the way a few of them
at Metro-Golwyn_Mayer, Paramount
and Columbia have portrayed us in the
media down through the years is right,
fair or logical?
Instead of becoming so engulfed in
reactionary hate of whites and Jews for .
past and current injustices, might it be
better to find brothers and sisters in
other races to help our causes so we
can all be As One? Because in the final
analysis, America is becoming one big,
fat, greedy house of divided cards with
the Europeans and the Japanese
waiting for the house to fall so they can
move in and collect the highest numbers.
We don't help this cause. by our
segregationist ment?lity sometimes,
and we sure don['t help this problem by
blindly taking ;the oratory of leaders
who in many ways preach racial
separatism and not taking the time to
discern for ourselves what the truth
really ism might be and could be.
I beg] of you at this crucial hour my
brothers and sisters, we need to build
confidence in one another because we
need each other, and America needs
us, too.
We all must band together and
save this dying country in which we live,
because if you think this Caucasian
government is and has been racist,
what do. you think a government of the
"Rising Sun" would be like or a
"Queen's Parliament of America?'.' dig?
]This must not happen and it
doesn't have to if we use this formula in
the attaining of knowledge and thinking
for ourselves. we must make the
commitment to not be fools that don~
delight in any real truth or understanding
but in only expressing our premature
opinions, but wise people that love
knowledge and listen objectively to
opinion and evidence.
Mary Mcleod Bethune says in her
last will and testament to her people, "I
leave you thirst for education. Knowledge
is the prime need of the Hour. I
leave you respect for the uses of power.
Power, intelligently directed, can lead to
more freedom. I leave you the challenge
of developing confidence in one
another. This kind of confidence will aid
the economic rise of a race by bringing
together pennies and dollars of our
people and ploughing ;them into useful
channels."
If I were to die tomorrow, I would
leave you as my people the three step
formula I have outlined above as my gift
to leave behind to the world. I suppose,
naturally, instead of calling it the "Farrakhan
Formula," it would be renamed the
"Frank Formula." but since I don't plan
on meeting my maker for a while at
least, I assume you all have gotten my
message. At this time, I challenge each
and every one of you to use this formula
in your every day lives so that we may
live together as brothers and not perish
together as fools.
. . . ..
. ..
.::•:&f;~iJ:·~·:·:~~.1~~·~¥ii,~ ¢~ ·:·:· .:.: -:-:-:-: ·:-:.: -·-:-: -:-:.:.:· . ' . . .. . . .. .. . : i~\.nh~~1l;!~dt~~\~~;J::·:.. '. :
·: :#t#1Af•#9.miM#ff•#.~#: .. ;:•:·:•:•:••::·
~11~1~~l~f~ (~I;
31 May 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer· 13
Dr.Andrew
Barclay
All of your
questions are
hard on the
good doctor
_Once again, I have so many letters, I
am going to condense them a little by·
cutting off the funny portions so they don't
threaten me. You won't have a chance to
laugh at them but I just wanted the letterwriters
to know that I laughed. Thanks for
writing.
My first letter came from a young man
who asked, among other things, if I wa.s
worried about AIDS and did I have any
suggestions about how to deal with
today's higher-risk sex. Of course, Dr. Sex
doesn't worry about AIDS because he's .
old and doesn't get any, besides the fact
that his bad attitude turns off most modern
women.
What most interests me is that the
threat of AIDS coincided with the onset of
extreme government controls on our
behavior. In a time when sexual creativity
could have provided an outlet for a lot of
anxiety about life in general, the threat of
AIDS put a lock on this form of recreation.
I attribute the incredible rise in homophobia,
anti~pornography, and anti-life forces
(who naturally refer to themselves as
being "Pro-life'1 in general to the anxietyhysteriaassociated
with a frightening
disease which may well have originated
with a virus escaping from government
genetic engineering laboratories. I mean,
seriously, doe~n't it seem an interesting
coincidence that a Virus which attacks
heterosexuals in Africa somehow winds up
killing homosexuals and needle-users in
North America, populations which the
government wants to eliminate? Up, Old
Doc is being paranoid again, isn't he??
When we observe the history of this
disease in North America, we see that the
initial government projections which were -
"leaked" to the media were widly inflated.
These original numbers would have had
all of us dead by now, but instead, we
have had very high attrition rates among
homosexuals and needle-users with some
crossover into the heterosexual population,
mostly due, in my opinion, to heterosexuals
having sex with needle-using
prostitutes. AIDS is slowly spreading into
the straight population but at nowhere
near the rates which were projected
earlier. Again, askyouself if this doesn't
look like a classic government propaganda
campaign to scare people straight, what
does it look like?
I don't mean.to imply that.AIDS is not
a threat to anyone whose behavior puts
them at risk. If I were gay, I can assure
you I would have been in a relatively
monogamous relationship fora long time
now. Unfortunately, some gay men give
new meaning to the term "promiscuous." I
have seen data in which some men report
having as many as 1500 different sexual
contacts in a year. Worried about being
promiscuous? Have you had five different
sexual contacts a day for the last
year?? If you have slept with three or four
different people in the last six months,
you're not really promiscuous although
you are "at risk." ·
Before entering into a more intimate
relationship, it is a matter of proper sexual
etiquette to discuss one's background with
prospective partners. I strongly recommend
eliminating partners who shoot up,
regardless of how attractive they may
seem to you. Not to ruin anyone's
business, but I also recommend avoiding
sex for pay because many pros use the
money from their profession to finance
their drug habits. Sexually promiscuous
needle-users are about your most dangerous
contacts, and so by avoiding them,
then you have significantly reduced your
degree of risk.
Second, if I were a woman, I would
not be interested in having a relationship
with a bisexual man who is also highly
involved with gay men. Trying to "rescue"
such an individual from his gay life is not ·
real smart these days. Choosing the
young, virgin male and debasing him,
possibly.sexually abusing him, represents
the best and safest good time a woman
can find these days. Choosing men 16 or
older is most important because you could
be charged with statutory rape and that's
much worse than dying of AIDS, believe
me. When you are dead, you're dead but
when you're life hasheen ruined\ you
have to live with it, get my drift?
Just remember, men, the condom was
invented by Cassanova and let that be a
lesson to you. Most men do not know how
to put on a condom which is why they are
not as popular as going bareback and
taking your chances. When rolled onto the
penis as an integral part of foreplay,
though, they can be a lot of fun. Try using
a colored condom for a change. Bright red
or day-glo yellow condoms are really
attractive when worn; although my rolor
advisors inform me that the most widelysold
color throughout the world is black.
What do you make of that?
To my friend Matt: It depends what
constitutes an orgy. We discovered that
the best way to start is to go to Builder's
Square and buy a large plastic drop-cloth
which you place over the living room
carpet. Then get all your friends naked on
this cloth and smear yourselves (and each
other) with large quantities of Mazola'Oil.
Hence the name, "Mazola" Party. See
what happens and report back to us so
maybe more of us can try it.
There's only one thing: For this first
get-together, there has to be a rule of No
Penetration because you really don't know
each other yet. You may have to have a
complete rubber section, if you get my
drift, rubber gloves, rubber bras, the whole
works, and after you get going: Send the
uR-1 some invitations, they're such a
homey lot, they probably won't be able
to get an issue out that week and we'll
all benefit.
(I have to print this one in it's entirety,
sorry)
Dear Dr. Sex: Are you as real as Dr.
Ruth. -
-Curious
Dear Curious:
Realer! I'm.actually mel
One last worry before I take off for
summer break. It seems very clear from
the experimental evidence that male sex
perpetrtors were victims from the generation
before, i.e. in their childhoods. Child
molestation, either violent or sexual, thus
has to be "seeded," so to speak, in the soil
of the previous generation. It is too late to
save the next generation even though we
know.
One way might be through an
education program similar to what has
been done through the Surgeon-General's
Office or the Michigan Department of
Public Health for AIDS. Educate the
children about how to deal with inappropriate
behavior from adults. Kids love to play
weird games when THEY'RE in control.
It would make a great science-fiction
move. Hey, maybe Jim Cash reads this
column. I would love to write a boarderline
dirty movie along the lines of Desperately
Seeking Susan or Blue Velvet about
a time in society when kids are making the
adults play very odd sexual games
because they are in control and it turns out
-to be Leave It to Beaver, do you know
wh~t I mean??
Why do y.ou read this lousy crap?
After the gent recovered from a strategically
placed uppercut (you can make fellahs pass out with a
good shot when you're only three feet-tall), I explained
to him that these are difficult times, what with Bush
considering making ketchup a vegetable again and all,
and I need some more good meals to keep th- yet developing - brain going. So ...
Good to know that even in your own home you
can have maximum police attention - unless, of
course, a real crime is being committed in your crib.
the
Provocateur
If you want to dine and whine with moi, call
517•HAT-EYOU to make reservations.
Bring your own bib.
PLEASE! . PLEASE!! PLEASElll SAVE THESE
CRAZY COLLEGE KIDS FROM THEMSELVESllll
PRESERVE THIS WONDERFUL PARADISE UNTIL I
COME TO MSUlllll
use force if necessary ...
Greetings, blister-lickers and ofherwise
unsavory readers, it's your old pal, the ole Provoc,
your weekly bite-in-the-ass, and contrary-topopular-
lore real groovy dood, back for another
run at that windmill I call your mind (some would
call it a vacuum but I stuck up for you guys- I
explained that a vacuum can't exist when there's
so .much dust floating in yer bean).
What an intro, eh? . But enough of my soliloqueasy,
take this second to la_st Provoc of the
year ...
A bloke told me the other day that he hasn't
understood the Provoc for the last couple weeks. Fact
is, he implied I was goin' down hill. Well, ...
Speaking of bibs, and bib overalls worn by folk·
who build things (what a great extended segue into
this next item! - ed.), not that there's anything
wrong with it, but it seems ironic to my five-year-old
mind that the Save the Rainforest shanty is made of
wood.
So, OK, hippies, I guess it's not Brazilian
wood ... what is it, Norwegian?
And isn't it good?
PRovoc FActsT FuN FAcT: Another update on what
my brother tells me is the ever-degenerating party
scene in East Lansing!
Seems the city and liquor store owners reached a
''voluntary" agreement that store owners would inform
the rollers when a lot of brew was heading to one
location.
Hey, what about those crazy, goofy, zany
Greeks? They sure are nice to those less privileged
than themselves (like anyone who doesn't own Exxon
preferred), ain't they?
Yep, sure was nice of them to steal all that
Special Olympics money so the handicapped kids
wouldn't be tempted to use it for anything that might
hurt them.
Oh, but that was one individual who did that -
and Greeks are all individuals (who got together in
stratttied little cliques to emphasize their individuality
as a group).
My apologies, I almost forgot...
- Since it would be too difficult for me to get
pictures of every one of you mucus lovers who
read this weakly reader, don't forget to nominate
your own geek this week for our big GEEK OF THE
YEAR wrap-up.
OUT and ABOUT ®®@@@@@®@@@@®@®@@®®©@@@®
A ~D©Jk"g A. .
~EAST LANSING 30 May: The Civilians A DETROIT
C\~[f(!l)lii])$ i?ll@11il©fr1-3 June: Hubble Space Telescope
· ®"tlcmrr
30 May Gone Dog with Day Glo Orange
B'Zar will not be hosting bands over
the summer ·
C®l1illlilkrlln®l1il~ C~©c§Jw Cll(!J)~
. 30 May-2 June: Malone and Noochies
!i!©$1}nwcma $fr~©
30 May: Jazz Band II
~IT©©llil ©®®fl
30 May-3 June: Uptown Band
4: Blue Avenue Delegates
5: Capitol City Band
6-10: Uptown Band
IMkmrrU ~nU31 May: Clarinet avant garde music
!K©B~ C©IJ\lfr©rr C\(!J)liiJll!l®ll'll(!J)lii1il
3 June: Renaissance Singers
~11©$®@ C\rrU C©llilfr©rr
now-3 June: the Undergraduate Exhibition
1!.~M!lnow- : photographs by Ann Lovett
M$l1D l1Dl1iln®llil
l June: Noontimes School of Music Jazz
Blues Combo
-IMJ(!j)$n© ®llllDBliiln!JlllW C\llllliilll!l©ll'lllllllii1il
· 30 May: MSU Suzuki program spring concert
31 :TheUrbations -----------
~Dw©mnow-3 June: The Fantasticks
$Dllw©11 ©®llllnow-3 June: Syndicate
$1ii1il30 May: Electric Rain
31: Born Naked
Wll'il30: Glee Clubs/Collegiate & Chamber
Choirs
2 June: Evening with the Master. MSU
Symphony Orchestra
-
AANNARBOR
trMN!k
30 May: open stage
31: Hoity Near with John Bucchino
1-10 June Friday-Sunday & Tuesday-Sunday:
Old Home Week
@lD11<§1 @fJ ~ 11\!21<§1118@
30 May-3 June: Ron Brooks Trio
4: Clark & Reed Jam Session (jazz musicians
welcome)
5: 2-5-1 Orchestra
6: Keller & Kocher Quartet
7-11: The Ron Brooks Trio
©lll!lila> 00©0<§1@!1il3>©~
30 May: Just Say No. Scruffy Tearaways. and
Forced Anger E a t Che. ap.,
All U Can Eat Coneys
$2.49 w/PopPurchase.
~ik@ll'"14 IX©W~11<§1 l!.Mliilll1J©
1-2 June: Inside Out
'il'llll@ IMl@~D© .
2 June: in the upstairs Garden Bowl - Allison's
Ghost with Red C
9: Kim Pensyl Quartet
'il'llll@ l:!llll~
8 June: The London Quire Boys
$l}Q~IT©'W*
1 June: House of Love
2: See Dick Run
6: The Aquanettas
$twllll'fl"•
31 May: Katie Webster
2: Regular Boys
Bagel Fragef'beli
6Jf!b~ W~(jl&q.-, ®w~.-,a~®~
MSU's prez and Board of
Trustees spend thousands
of university$$$ on travel.
How does that hit you?
a. I hope they get frequent flyer
mileage ·
b. they should pay for their travel
c. It's only fair that they get reimbursed
for their trips
. ·.·.-.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·· ......... .. ... . . . ..... ·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.· ... . ...... . .... .
::1.1@ii:::.:::ionie~::::::1ia.-t:u-+:u · ·> ·. .'!'. n Tuesday Noon to 9pm .
Delivery ,332~2381
d. Aren't those the dudes that
hired George?-
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.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.-. ·.·. · · · ·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.· ............ . . ...
Delivery Mepu
Hot Dog ..................... .................. $ .90
Coney Dog .................................. $1.40
Kr;mt Dog .................................. $1.40
Loose Burger ............................. $1.40
Corn Dog .................................... $1.00
1/4 lb. Hamburger ..................... $1.40
1/4 lb. Cheeseburger ................. $1.60
Chili Cheeseburger ................... $1.90
Olive Burger .............................. $1. 75
Onion Rings ............................... $1. 75 .
Fish Sandwich ....... : ..... ............. $2.25 .
Chicken Sandwich .................... $1.75
s:rnall platter
French Fries ......... $ .75 ............ $1.25
Chili Fries. ........... $1.25 ............ $1. 75
·cheese Fries ......... $1.25 ........... $1.75
:1:~11-1::1:1:1:1:::::11!?.:~:::::
:::1§:::::gJilJ!i::~~::1:::~1:1:12:j::: ..
:::as:1:::::1or::::M1:rc:e:~::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ... · .. !chili Cheese Fries$1.75 ........... $2.25
·=::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::=:-::: • ·•... Jr- -lUib-:'T~key-"'\
: Sandwich, :
I - fragel, I
I medium pop, and I
I bagel chips I
: - $3.85· :
I I \.. .!!.P.:. '!_u~!:_ ~ .!~9~.I r----------, 1 2 Fragels, 1
I . & I
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1 Small 1
: Regular Coffee :
: $1.00 . :
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31 May 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer• 15
Reviews ~
B.B. lets the good times roll through East Lansing
... 8.8. King
~Live in East Lansing
BY ROBIN RANK
. UR·I MUSIC CORRESPONDENT
featuring Big Daddy Kinsey and an
unidentified(but very hip) skinny guy in
suit and hat on harmonica. ·Clearly
the highlight of their performance was
Big Daddy's pelvis breaking version of
the King's "Rock Me, Baby" and the
low-down dirty classic "I'm a Man.·
Love blew into town last Wednes- Was it pumpin'? It was pumpin', baby.
day as the legendary B.B. King, the And it kept on pumpin' as B.B.
popular Kinsey Report and new- King's band took the stage and turned
comer Joanna Conner put on a butt- the house out with some tight, upkickln',
knee slappin' blues benefit for tempo jazz. The 8-man ensemble
the homeless of Lansing at the MSU included 2 trumpeters, a saxaphonist,
Auditorium. a cellist, an incredible bassist, a
The four-hour blues bonanza guitarist (no, really?) an organist and,
commenced with an energetic per- of course, a percussionist. They
formance from Texan vocalisUguitar- wowed the crowd with dynamic solos
ist, Joanna Conner. Her rich, reso- and a masterful collective performnant
vocals and guitar pickin' profi- ance that proved them to be of the
ciency definitely caught the audience highest, most jam min' caliber for the
off guard. What can be said? The girl King.
threw down. Then B.B. hit the spotlight and set
Next up was The Kinsey Report, off theJirst of many standing ovations
he would draw from the audience. He
assumed full command as he
pounded out old-time favorites like
"Let the Good Times Roll" and "Ain't
Nobody's Business If I Do". About 50
dancin' fools flooded up front and
grooved and moved (and then
grooved again) before they were
stifled by several red-shirted security
freaks. (The Fun Patrol moves onto
campus?)
After about the 10th ovation, the
big man chilled a bit. He and Lucille
(his guitar) dominated a seat center
stage and began tellin' stories of
women, gamblin' and cheat in'. He
skillfully wove a medley of his greatest
tunes into his storytellin' like "Rock
Me, Baby" and "The Thrill is Go.ne".
This brought on yet another roar of
"more" from the people.
B.B. King ended the charitable
event with an explosive encore of
uR-1 photo/FREDDY SPADAFORA
'When Love Comes to Town·. Then
he left. But hopefully some of the love
and the hope and the money he
brought will stay for a while. Of course
we'd rather B.B. King stayed for a
while.
-llLOCIN-
·.·.
·,• .
. ·.·
·.· .
. ·.
THURSDAY, MAY 31st
Proceeds of Cover Charge To Benefit The:
MSU Water Ski Club
Beat The Clock Drink Specials
Entertainment
II
Branford Marsalis makes waves of his own
BY ERIN O'CONNOR
uR-1 MUSIC
CORRESPONDENT
. Jazz
saxophonist
Branford
Marsalis is
stretched out on
a chair, eyes
closed, listening
intently to one of
his albums. At
one point in the
music, he shakes
his head and
swears with '
passion.
"I remember
wanting to say
that exact word
while recording
the song: he
laments. I, of
course, have not
heard a flaw in
his elaborate jazz
riff. "Only a real
jazz expert would
notice," he says
with a slow,
handsome grin;
Branford, 29,
clad In sweats and a Mets baseball
cap, doesn't look like a perfectionist.
But his virtuosity is evident when he
plays his saxophone, and he is doing
just that with his band on a worldwide
tour.
Perhaps best known for his years
as pop singer, Sting's, main sax man,
Branford is now gaining recognition as
a versatile artist. He has appeared in
three movies, played with jazz musicians
like Sol')ny ,Rollins and Miles
Davis and shows no signs of limiting.
himself to any one undertaking. For
now, he is concentrating on the successes
of his band, a quartet induding
· drummer Jeff Watts, bassist Robert
Hurst and pianist Kenny Kirkland.
The lustrous notes flowing from
the stereo speakers are almost an ex-
. tension of Branford's voice, with an
individuality and vibrancy that earns
the admiration of music lovers and the
·respect of jazz masters.
It evokes breathtaking, provocative
and despairing image5 in the
mind's eye. But to the man creating
that audible fantasy, it is just cold,
harsh intellect.
•Notes, notes and more musical
notes. That's what runs through my
mind: Branford says. "There are so
many potential improvisational note
combinations, I don't think of anything
or anyone.·
The eldest of six sons of Ellis
Marsalis, a prestigious jazz pianist of .
New Orleans, Branford's natural talent
as a musician has always been
. nurtured. But while growing up, he
often found himself in the shadow of
his younger brother, Wynton, now an
accomplished jazz trumpeter.
Although Branford has achieved
fame of his own, he says he has
always been identified by his relation
to Wynton, a staunch jazz purist.
"A lot of times people say, 'Oh
Yeah, you're Wynton's brother,' or
many times they even think I'm his
younger brother; says Branford. "I
don't think that identity has changed
much, but it really doesn't bother me:
Branford has recorded and
released five jazz albums, Scenes in
the City, Royal Garden Blues,
Rena~ance, Random Abstract, and
his latest, Trio Jeepy. He laughs·as
he tells the story behind the credits
listed on the jackets of the last three
albums. His toddler son, Reese, Is
named as an additional technical
assistant on the albums In jest.
"My brother Delfeayo, who produces
my records, and I have a longstanding
joke," says Branford. "People
who read the credits believe them like
the Bible. Jazz musicians have always
had this serious image, but they really
act crazy. We're just making fun of
that serious image by doing stupid
things.·
Branford has appeared in the
movies, Throw Momma From the Train
with Billy Crystal and Danny DeVito,
School Daze with Spike Lee, and with
Sting in the documentary film, Bring on
theNight .
"I don't want to be like Elvis in the
movies-I don't want to have to sing,
dance or play the sax to justify rn.y
being in tMm; he says.
Contrary to what fans may think,
Branford says he wasn't put on this
earth to be a star or servant to the
public.
"Generally, people in this country
who are the most successful will
alwa}'s find a way to say the exact
thing the public wants to hear; he
says. •If people ask my true opinion,
they'll get it.·
Branfon:fs wisecracking humor is
often snide, and bums those who
wander Into his verb&l line of fire. He
has no qualms about telling people,
tion never wavers.
including interviewers,
what he
thinks. He won't
hesitate to
interject obsceni~
ties e.s tools for
emphasis.
"If I think that
someone asked
me a stupid
question, I'll tell
him, 'Hey, that
was a really
damned daft
question,' " he
says. And he'll
kindly select a
better one to ask.
A zealous
sports fan, Branford
says the only
thing that parallels
his enjoyment of
music is sports.
However, a knee
injury has kept
him a 'frustrated
jock' until last
year's surgery.
But his
intrinsic love for
serious competi-
"Every now and then music makes
me feel like athletics, but not very
often; Branford says. "It's a high I get,
wheri I'm running, when I'm playing.
It's the ultimate in concentration."
If Branford could be anything his
heart desires, he'd be a quarterback
for the New York Jets or an outfielder
for the New York Mets.
Branford's dreams are not limited
to athletics though.
·1 want to not only uphold their traditions,
but to try to become as good
as or better than John Coltrane,
Charlie Parker and Sonny Rollins, .
even though it's impossible," he says.
He has been touring off and on,
but mostly on, for ten years. During
breaks in his current tour, Branford
goes home to his wife and son in
Brooklyn.
One thing never fails when he's
home, Branford says with a culpable
smile; four-year-old Reese adopts
those colorful, obscene expressions
his dad so loves to use.
Branford Maras/is will perlonn at
Hart Plaza .. Amphitheatre In Detroit on
s.pt. 1, and the Grand Hot.I'• Te•
Gilrden on llacldnaclaland on Sept. 2.
Hang on, kids ... even mor~ Entertainment is inside! Keep on readin'
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