Creator: uR-I Publications

Subjects: Administration, Faculty, Students, Presidents, Trustees, Campus

Description: Major stories:
Purpose of newspaper
Cost of learning
Artificial Intelligence
Editorials
Classifieds
Out and About- The Deans, Lime Giants, The Doe Boys, The Front
Entertainment- Doe Boys, The Deans
Fake IDs

Date: September 27, 1989

Format: Text/pdf

Original Format: Broadside

Resource Identifier: A006324.pdf

Collection Number: Serial 990

Language: English

Rights Management: Educational use only, no other permissions given. Copyright to this resource is held by Michigan State University and is provided here for educational purposes only. It may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without written permission of the University Archives & Historical Collections, Michigan State University.

Contributing Institution: University Archives & Historical Collections

Relation: Serial 990

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Artificial intelligence is for real... p. 3
27
·.Sep. tember .
1989
. Volume 1
Number 1
MSU's alternative
and truly
· independent
voice
WHAT'S UP:
IS NOTHING
SACRED?
The Provocateur
cuts loose~ .. p. · 7
@ Lash rides again •.• p.9
@ Big Baby delivers ... p.11
0 Enterta lriment. .. p.1&·
@ Out and about ..• p.12
0 Classifieds ••. p. 10-11
BITE THE BULLET!
Students victimized as cost of learning surges
Legislators: Stat.a
strapped for hi.gher
education funding
by TODD W. CARTER
uR-1 Special Correspondent
LANSING - It is a perennial .
question, and one that few legislators,
college administrators' or students are
able to answer:
When will the skyrocketing tuition
increases stop?
Will Michigan's higher-education
system - composed of 15 colleges
and universities- become so expen- .
sive that only those with the resources
to attend Harvard or Princeton be able
to afford to be a Spartan, Wolverine or
even a Chippewa? .
Lawmakers are faced with the
political dilemma of wanting to support
higher education - support for ·
edupition always is good for a few
. vot~ - but not wanting to take the
money from other programs. ·
A legislator whose district depends
on agricultural funding is not
about to jeopardize that department
for the sake of MSU. Nor are many
lawmakers about to choose universities
over prisons.
Reo. Lynn Jondahl, a Democrat
whosedis,rid includes East Lansing
and MSU, points out that colleges and
universities have received a •substantial
Increase· in funding since the state
Income-tax hikes of the early 1980s.
•But it still ls not high enough to
assure that, given the present spending
patterns of the schools, there
won't be tuition increases,· he s&id
recently.
Spartans were spared the gubernatorial
rod by deciding to hike tuition
7 .9 percent.
. · MSU students have been substantially
hit in previous years, though.
The 1981-88 fiscal year brought a
whopping 20.4-percent tuition hikepartly
from an Increase In registration ·
fees -and 1988-89 meant a 10.2-
In fact, nearly all of the state's
public universities raised tuition this .
-percent Increase.
· year above 8 percent - prompting a ·
public rebuke by Gov. James Blan-
·" .· . . '•
Raising fees for registration,
equipment use and other Items
nol'fl'.1ally absorbed In tuition could hold
See LEGISLATORS • 2
Educators: No relief
in sight for soaring
tuition expenses
byDAVIDSTEARNS .
uR-1 Managing Editor
MSU students who may have
hoped for a financial break this. year
Instead are digging deeper into
threadbare pockets, facing yet
anothertultion increase. ·
The explanation most sources
give for rising tuition is: If the
university does not get what it
requested from the state, student
tuition rates must be adjusted to
make up the balance.
But while administrators point
fingers at the Legislat~re and
lawmakers return the gesture, .
students across the state sit by
scratching their collective heads
and wonder.when the esealating
costs will slow down. .
And It doesn't look like It will
happen anytime soon.
According to Ed Hines, director of
the Center for Higher Education at
Illinois State University, tuition
· levels are increasing as money
designated for social and public
services dwindles across the .
See ED~T!>~" p. 4' ·
..
2 •Reporter-Intelligencer · -'. , , 27 Se tember 1989
LEGISLATORS, from p. 1
straight credit-hour rates steady. said
MSU Trustee Kathy Wiibur.
Un lversltles &lso will realize they
need to raise more of their operating
costs themselves, using massive
fund-raising campaigns as sources of .
funding, said Wilbur, who also is an
aide to Sen. William Sederburg. chair
of the Senate Appropriations subcommittee
on Higher Education.
A former MSU professor,
Sederburg'sdistrict Includes East
Lansing.
Jondahl and Wilbur agree that
state funding is unlikely to increase
unless priorities are shifted or taxes
. raised.
•1 don't see us being able to give
the universities what they're saying
they need In terms of Increases,•
Jondahl said. •1 see us being able to
give them Increases, but I don't see
being able to without substantial new
monies.•
Sederburg has proposed Increases
in the beer and wine tax -
often referred to as -Sin taxes• - to
fund more education. The plan calls
for splitting the new revenues with a
group that would use its half for
substane&-abuse couns&ting, Wilhur
sakt .
The Presidents Council, a group
representing each of Michigan's
public universities, received the
senator's proposal in January and
has asked Sederburg to do more
research on its plibllc acceptance,
Wilbur said.
But she said there are existing
studies that Indicate people are
willing to pay higher beer and wine
taxes for education and other worthy
issues.
One of the council's problems
with the proposed legislation is a fear
of what happened to revenues from
the state lottery: Intended to supplement
the K· 12 education budget,
lottery monies instead replaced
general-fund dollars and there was
little net gain.
Wilbur waves aside the fear, and
says the bill could be written to
preventthat problem.
Lawmakers have two alternatives
if they decide higher edocatlon. need&
more funding, Jondahl said:
"One Is to say we'll raise taxes
for that purpose. The other is to say
we11 take the money from other ·
areas where it's being spent and put
it Into there. ·
-To some degree we've done
bdh.·
While the taxes raised from a
state income-tax Increase In 1983
allowed more funding Into K-12 and
higher education, •it became a major
partisan political Issue: he said.
Few representatives would
publicly say they are against more
higher-education funding, Jondahl
said~ .
•Nobody would run for office or
say publicly they are opposed to
more money,• he said. "But then, If
you said ~here would It come from?'
you get (lawmakers) with far different
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perspectives.•
The btg question Is where you
shift the money from, because few
lawmakers would support a tax
· Increase for higher education,
Jondahl said.
"That means you pit higher
· education against other programs.
ng to run arou Ing
prisons and •
he battles being f~ht,.
sCouncil emphastz
for more state monies· 1n
a flve..year plan submitted to Blanchald
and the Legislature In January.
The proposal.would •r8Verse, over
time, the alarming trend toward fMlll·
rellance on tuition as a revenue .
source.• according to a statement
released In August.
•As public public institutions, the
state universities clearly recognize a
special obligation to keep overall
costs at levels which do not restrict or
deny access to higher education
opportunities to qualified students:
Before lawmakers permit more
funding to go toward higher education,
Jondahl said, they will want to
know what the universities are doing
to control costs and ensure efficienc.
y.
-How legitimate are those
requestS?Th in dis
he said. •Are t
Ing the money the
to?" ·
Often times there are outcrys
from Spartans that the University of
Michigan receives more funding
despite MSU's higher enrollment. But
Jondahl said that is not a fair comparison,
and said MSU has a different
emphasis than the state's other
two large universities~
While MSU gets less per-capita
than the University of Michigan or
Wayne State, those two schools
have a greater emphasis on graduate
and professional students, he said.
·•If that's the way we did it, MSU
would take ••• almost a 2()..percent
cut,. he said. .
Whatever the long-term picture
for tuition hikes, Jondahl said he Is
confident escalating aedit-hour
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st o are there carrying a
greater burden. But you're also
seeing a_lot of students- low .
Income as well as middle Income, ·
e kids from larger families
able to get there,
er paying the
For more information call:
355-4510
the University Reporter-Intelligencer
Page Three
, , ., The Second Front Pa e
by JOE LAMPORT
uR-1 Science Correapondenl
Imagine one day never having to
declphersaawled notes, handing In
assignments via electronic mall and
exchanging philosophy or sex trivia
with thousands of students at campuses
worldwide.
Stop daydreaming. That day has
come.
Already, MSU students are taking
advantage of such technology to meet
those ends. National and international
networks link students coast to coast
and continent to continent. Some
university professors list their electronic
mail (e-mail) addresses in their
syllabi. ·
And more students carry portable
lap-top devices- some as powerful
as iop•·personal computers produced
less than five years ago - into
classrooms each day.
C&r1 Page, an MSU computer
science professor, sees computers
becoming a distinct part of student life,
if they aren't already. Although
changes may occur overnight, the
technology is readily available, he
said.
'1 give students my electronic
malllng address and they can send
me notes through their (computer}
accounts," Page said.
Page also can send exam date or
time changes, for example, to students'
accounts in little more time than
it takes for you to read this sentence.
An e-mail address ls a code
identifying a particular use who is
linked to a network of other users,
usually termed a multi-user system. If
two users each have a terminal on a
network, one may type a command as
simple as •mail chartes• to send
Charles a message.
But If Charles in New York wants
a recipe for bean casserole from Jean
in East Lansing, Jean needs to have
her computer linked Into a national
network (usually via telephone with a
modem) and also must know Charles'
address.
For exam pie, if Charles studies at
New York University, Jean might type
something like, •mail
charles@phy.nyu.edu.•Thecomputer
then passes Jean's recipe to the next
computer In the direction of NYU and
so on until the message arrives In
Charles' -mailbox.•
Sometimes, that isn't the best way
to send a message.
Page said a message sent on one
network at the University of Michigan
· first W'5 transmitted by satellite to
Maryland before it arrived across the
campus.
Severaf networks allow national
and lntematlonale-mailcommunlcation
virtually free of charge. Bltnet,
started by International Business
Machines Corp. and now open to the
public, allows worldwide communication
among linked users. One group of
people started Fido, a national network.
The networks include government
agencies.and Jarge companies, - .
allowing researchers in academia,
business and government to share
new Ideas and Information quickly and
efficiently.
Page said MSU Pr:ofessor Don
Weinshank actually taught while
working In Israel by communicating
with his teaching assistants on an
International e-mail network.
The university community has not
been blind to the rapid changes
occurring.
Lewis Greenberg, director of
academic computing, said for the first
time the faculty-staff directory will
include e-mail addresses as well as
office and telephone numbers.
•Expanding e-mail service Is an
ever-growing process,• Greenberg
said. As different departments add the
service~ some now rely excusively
upon It for rote communication -
others become interested, he added.
•E-mail ls definitely an (important)
part of university computing,• Greenberg
said.
The future offers even more timesaving,
knowledge enhancing advances.
Just two weeks ago, the
publishers of El'lCf clopedla Brittanica
released all of Its 'Zl volumes on a
CO-ROM-a compact disk read-only
memory.
Many new computers, like Apple
founter Steven Jobs' NeXT, access
these cartridges much as a CD player
reads to code on an audio CO to fill a
room with Gershwin or Guns 'N
Roses.
Artificial Intelligence is beginning
to make Its mark as well.
"E~systems,• explained Chris
Peterson, an artificial inteUigence
group leader at Unisys Corp. in
Plymout~. •capture the expertise of a
key individual, allowing you the ability
to solve problems automatically
without computer involvement.·
Integrating such systems with
conventional processing capabilities,
such as •number crunching• and
similar tasks, will offer businesses an
efficlent,cost-effectlveapproachto
many tasks.
"The key is Integration,· Peterson
said. •Still, In the Al community, standalone
systems are the norm. Making
them better is a good goal, but people
in business want It Integrated.·
Expert systems developed at
corporations like Unisys and expert
system research at MSU and other
institutions already serve as an
Important basis for American technolOfll.
Page said researchers look to Al
to allow advances In many areas.
"Space (will benefit) from Al, but
advanc&s are being held back by
certification requirements,· he said.
•A1 may put a co-pilot In the transportation
Industries (that) would tell a pilot
what they should do now and what
problems are occurring.·
The technology will allow people
to develop new solutions and to better
uR-lartwork/JACKWHEATLEY
manage Information. But It hasn't
always been that way for Al.
•Just thirteen y~ ago I told
people there'd be computers in cars
and it was scandalized,· Page said.
"Today, most cars have a small
(personal computer) In them.·
Page recalled the first Al convention
he attended In Ann Arbor in 1958
as a student at the U of M. Only 20 to
30 people attended. But this summer
In Detroit, where MSU had a booth for
the first time ever at an international
conference on technology, more than
6,000 people participated.
Since then, waves of research
revelation and consequent application
have spread Al influence far and wide.
With the advent of computers like
NeXT and other powerful -Workstations,
• 1arge stores of information - like
a dictionary, a thesaurus and encyclopedia
- are being linked forthe first
time In a way allowing for efficient,
effective and rapid access.
•(As) the industrial revolution
amplified workers' powertodo work, a
machine built to accomplish more, Al
Is Intelligence amplification,· Page
said.
u - ge results, so
act now and contact
your ad exec ...
... ....,, -ti• ... ,..,,,! ftw--lutlf·
Hl/•llN/fnl ... tilU•"""'*•n!!!
4 • Reporter-Intelligencer 27 September, 1989
EDUCATORS, from p. 1
country. .
•Social and public services are
not receiving the rates of increase
they came to expect in the 1960's
and 70's, • Hines said. •in the 7CYs,
tuition rates were kept relatively low
because of the expected commitment
to higher education. They
were actually lower than they
should have been.
-There was also the political
payoff, because people doni gripe
if there areni any increases,• he
sakt
Lowtuition levels mean greater
accessibility for students -and in
the 198CYs that accessibility has
shriveled.
-rhe simultaneous occurrence of
repeated rises when compared to
the 70's and the relatively slower
rates of increase of taxes for higher
education has been a double blow
to students,• Hines said.
And students are in a bind.
The repeated jumps in tuition
have limited the opportunity to
attend instituions of higher lea.ming.
Hines said enrollment statistics
for the last several years indicate
the true impact of skyrocketing
costs on prospective students at
four-year colleges and universities.
-Transfer programs in community
colleges in the last five years have
grown rapidly, primarily because of
the costs (of four-year institutions),•
he said.
But while probably accurate,
Hnes said It was dramatic to say
that the state has been remiss •and
the students are getting screwed.•
Public universities are turning
elsewhere for revenue. Endow- r----------, I
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ments, annual giving and federal,
stateand privately-funded research
projects are but a few of the
alternate routes of covering operating
costs.
It is a difficult Issue for all involved,
and unfortunately there is
no end in sight.
•1t's the exceptional state that
finds a lot of money that it didni
have previously or that can increase
taxes,· Hines said.
Michigan probably Is not one of
those, he said.
Fiscal constraints, largely the
result of the domestic automobile
Industry decline, make it difficult.
But Hines said Michigan's commitment
to higher education is improving.
"It's not leading In the Great
Lakes, but it's making a comeback,•
he said.
In the interim, however, many
students are wondering what the
university is doing to control costs.
A stroll across campus provides
students with evidence that loads of
· money Is being spent In areas that
probably doni affect their education.
The Breslin Student Events
. Center, the IM East, the addition to
the Engineering Building and the
new Soll Sciences building are
examples of capital improvements
being made across campus.
MSU Provost David Scott explained
that student tuition dollars
are not being used to pay for most
capital expenditures, although there
are exceptions.
As Roger Wilkinson, MSU vice
president for finances and operations,
explains, student fees are
used to pay for a variety of build-
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lngs across campus. The Breslin
Center, Student Services building,
Olin Health Center, all of the
residence halls, all of the intramural
buildings and part of the Wharton
Center are paid for by the students.
There ls no per student charge,
but rather a percentage of tuition
that goes toward paying for the
"debt retirement •of th~ buildings,
Wilkinson said. This year, less than
5 percent of tuition revenue is
designated for building expenses,
he added.
The charge Is constant -$5. 7
million per year-but the actual
percentage decreases as tuition
and fees rise year by year, Wilkinson
said.
That Is unless the university
refinances or builds another
building with student fees, in which
case the percentage would increase.
Students will be paying for the
Breslin Center until 2005-20
years after the board of trustees
approved construction of the arena
But Provost Scott said building at
the university must continue, or
future students will lack facilities
that current students enjoy .
•Just suppose the past boards
and administrations decided not to
build the Kresge Art Museum, or
they said, 'let's not have an IM,' •
he said. "'We wouldn't have those
thingsn<>W.·
Scott said the amount of student
fees MSU uses for new buildings is
modest when compared to other
Big Ten institutions.
-Those funds are appropriated
with Capital Outlay,• he said.
"They're specified by legislative
MOOD \.fl:SIC TO SUIT ANY TIME OF DAY!
Rising
tuition
costs are
putting
college
degrees
out of
reach.
uA-11
MATTHEW
GOEBEL
action and adopted by the governor
forthe purposes intended. Building
construction funds are one-time
only:
That means if the university were
to take $1 O million from building
funds and use it for general operations,
it would have to be replaced
at some point down the line.
'When we submit our budget
requests for 1990-91 this November,
it will include a new general
operating fund budget and a new
capital outlay request. They're
entirely separate.·
Essentially, the university could
not ask for less capital funds to
garner additional general operating
funds, which would in tum keep
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27 September, 1989 · Reporter-Intelligencer • 5
tuition levels stable~
However, Scott said that spending
changes are being made in an
effort to limit the impact on students.
Both personnel redudions and
the phasing out of departments will
make the university more efficient,
he said.
Last year, three MSU general
education departments-humanities,
natural science and social
science-were eliminated with the
intent of ex>mbining them in a
Center for Integrative Studies. This
will allow the University to draw on
faculty from across the university to
teach general education classes.
The university is retrenching in
other areas as well, Scott said.
In tne human health-related
departments of the school, such as
osteopathic medicine, human
medicine and the ex>llege of nursing,
ex>urses are being rescheduled
so students from all three areas can
take the same classes, reducing
the need for more professors.
"We're trying to bring greater
power to bear, by ex>mbining what
students in the medical schools
need,· Scott said.
Almost all ex>lleges at MSU are
making redudions in the number of
faculty. But Scott said this will not
adversely aff ed the quality of
education students receive.
•h means that because. we don't
have the funds to provide (salary)
Increases with inflation, we'll have
to do with a smaller cadre of
faculty,· he said. •it's not a case of
removing faculty. MSU has large
numbers of people retiring, and
we're building a plan to focus where
you make changes.•
That is where Scott's ex>ntroversial
plan - the famed A-cubed
document - fits in.
University resources must be, as
he says, refocused, refined and
rebalanced to accomodate lack of
money for general operating
expenses.
The university still ls hoping for
increased appropriations from the
state, particularly in per-student
funding.
MSU falls short of Its peer
institutions In the state-the
University of Michigan and Wayne
State-when It comes to per
capita funding, according to
ASMSU Executive Director Sue
Steinke.
Provost Soott said administrators
are CX>ntinulng their efforts to
stimulate equity In state appropriations.
We're not saying we should be
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treated the same as all other
universities,• he said. We have
different missions. We're just
looking at a reasonable compromise.
8h's largely due to a lack of
political maneuverability to bring
large changes in times of economic
shortage,· Scott said.
The Center for Higher
Education's Hines said many
student organizations acl'066 the
country have engaged in lobbying
efforts to put pressure on Institutions
and the state to not raise
tuition.
"In many cases it has been
successful,· Hines said •A strong
student association can make a
very big impad. The best known Is
the Student Association of the State
Universities of New York.·
Steinke said 'one of ASMSU's
goals this year is to aJ>ply more
concentrated pressureonthe$tate
government, ·in hopes that MSU
will be more fairly treated ex>me
appropriations time.•
Apparently, MSU students want
their voices heard as a collective
whole. In two days of this year's
registration, more than 8,000 letters
were signed requesting representatives
and senators from across the
state to increase higher education
funding.
Many students still want to attend
MSU, Scott said.
There were over 21,000 applicants
for this year's freshman dass
of6,500.
And while many of those were
turned away because they weren't
qualified academically, Scott said
the university obviously is turning
away many students who ex>uld
succeed at MSU. That does not jive
with the land-grant philosophy.
•rm sure there are lots of students
who have financial hardships,
· Scott said. "Our philosophy
still ls to provide financial aid so
that no student qualified will be
denied an·education.
"Is that possible? On paper, yes.
In practice? Ask.around on the
street. We still by and large fulfill
that philosophy: he said.
D ©fNJOI!
0~!2&~@
'[}{} & l!r! ff & g
PURPOSE, from p. 1
we do not have all the answers, we
hope at some point all readers will find
their 15 minutes of noteriety within
these very self-same pages.
We welcome all submissions, be It an
idea, story, photograph, artwork, or
cartoon.
As we say, we are YOUR paper, and
as such, we want you to be both
reader and writer. Your efforts are
welcomed as we attempt to fill these
pages with elements readers will seek
out enthusiastically.
For our part, we seek to probe, search
and expose readers to stories and
Issues either ignored or glossed-over
by the mainstream press. There is no
subject too sensitive for discussion
within these pages and all Issues will
be aired out and explored as well as
we are able.
We also aim to entertain and make
you think.
So read on - and enjoy.
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eliminating binge/purge behaviors. Through educational, psychological, and
behavioral techniques, participants will learn to focus their behavior away from
destructive use of food and toward more positive actions and attitudes.
When: Mondays 3:00-4:30 p.m., Oct. 2 - Nov. 20, 1989
Where: 2nd floor conference room, Olin Health Center
Fee: Free .
Please call 355-7593 for more information and/or registration
Olin Health Center OLIN Health Education Public Health Services: 353-0718
HEALTH CENTER
MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY
LEGISLATORS, from p. 2
Wilbur disagrees.
•rm personally not convinced of
that because our applicant pool is still
so large: the trustee said.
There is plenty of financial aid
available to let students enter MSU
and ex>ntlnue to attend through the
tuition increases, she said.
But she also does not know when
the demand side will hold the upper
hand over the supply of higher education.
·1 just truly do not know what the
market will ex>ntinue to bear,· Wilbur
said. •1 don't think anyone knows that:
Jondahl is equally unsure of the
effect: •No one knows where you start
triggering redudions in enrollment.·
While Jondahl does not deny the
increasing numbers of applications, he
insists that the demographics of those
people become more and more elite
as tuition rises.
•1 think It's dear you've got certain
people-from an economic perspective,
demographically-who aren't
even showing up,· Jondahl said.
8There's no point, they can't hack
it:
(JJ]/2=0
/Gdi/j
ecttcM Natural Fiber Clothing
337-4445
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'flack to School Special 1
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e
e
It's the same old story Now is the tiJDe for a rewrite
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
That's not the sound of bones bottom line Is that over the last 20
breaking. It's the sound of students years the percentage of general
getting the squeeze from university operating costs derived from student
administrators and state lawmakers. checkbooks has increased by almost
Once again, students have been t3 percent, while the state's •comm Ithit
with tuition Increases. At MSU, ment to higher education• has plumtuition
is jumping 7 .9 percent. meted by almost 18 percent.
While administration officials use St~e lawmakers must allocate
their annual excuse for the rising cost funds to a variety of public service
of attending school - lack of money areas, ranging from corredlonal
from the state - students continue to facilities to mental hospitals to K-12
bear the brunt of MSU's drive to education.
become the next University of Michl- Higher education Is taking a back
gan. seat.to lawmakers who are beginlng to
And loan officers don't care about realize there Is little political leverage
the U-M octopus' new East Lansing to gain by bolstering higher education
campus. budgets. What sense would it make
They ~re about collateral for a representative from Hicksville to
Don't forget administrator.s' favor taking money away from a farm
excuses don't ~y for credits and subsidy program in favor of an extra
employers don't want to hea;why million to a state school?
students couldn't afford to finish The tune "Roll Out the Pork
college. Money talks and we know Barrel• reverberates in our heads.
what walks. However, there is one big solution
Shall we put it in a different to the dilemma, and taxpayers are
perspective? going to have to swallow the pill. Yes,
While we understand the difficult it's those three dirty little words from
position administrators are In, the the 1988 presidential campaignWatch
your step!
Officials reported last week that
East Lansing may be upchucking it's
way into bankruptcy.
According to the Alcohol Community
and Safety report released this
month by the city, East Lansing
spends $7,000 in contract expense
for weekend pickup of litter and
cleanup of urine and vomit from
April to September -we're not
kidding, folks.
We always knew the big city was
dirty ..
City officials weren't bothered for
comment, but idle speculation
places the city in danger of going
belly up (as opposed to lunch up) by
early next year if students persist In
pissing and puking their way
through the beautiful downtown
area Talk of a "Barf Bond Issue•
has surfaced (along with small bits
of El Az nachos).
Therefore, sources who spoke on
condition of anonimlty said it Is
incumbent upon us, the students, to
take our urine and vomit elsewhere.
The source went so far as to
suggest perpetrating the technicolor
yawn in Ann Arbor, home of the
exalted University of Michigan.
Suddenly, we feel queasy.
and it's not ·11ove you.•
Guess what, it Isn't ihousand
points o'light, ·either.
Ifs "a tax hike:
Unless Michigan taxpayers are
willing to take the solar plexus shot of
a tax Increase, the higher education
system of the state is going to dwindle
to a bundl of mediocre schools with
eroding buildings and seoond-rate
faculties.
No winning footbal teams and no
future rocket scientists. Just a hippie
breeding ground forthedisillusioned
rich brats of Michigan.
Maybe the Increase could come In
the form of a larger sales tax on beer
and wine sales, as has been men-
. tioned at the Capitol? It doesn't really
matter how it's done, it's just got to be
done.
Taxpayers won1 likely vote for
something of this nature unless they
are assured that universities won't
continue to fritter away their harclearned
salaries.
MSU must join with the rest of the
universities in the state in making
responsible changes In its spending
practices. Got that John and David?
That means a freeze on new campus
buildings until the crisis has passed.
Money previously designated for new
buildings should go to repair, maintain,
and improve currently existing
classrooms. The money will go farther
and be more efficiently spent.
If we continue to approve new
expenditures we must be ready to pay
forthem later. If that means another
tuition hike, we must ask: "Can we
afford it?9
We assert, instead, that our
money be spent In the areas of
greatest need - and that does not
inc.lude thousands of dollars to
beautifytheBeaumontTower. We ·
love the old symbol, but let's face it,
no one learns how to do a derivative
there, and can anyone rememberthe
last time the Tower stood up in front of
a classroom to give a political science
lecture?
And that's just one of many
examples.
It's time for some responsibility
and accountability on the part of
university administrators and state
legislators alike.
Otherwise, this university will
cease to serve the students in their
M&t Interest.
LETTERS:
you got 'em
and we
want 'em.
But we have a few conditions,
first:
The uR-1 encourages all of its
readers to participate in the
dissemination of information
and knowledge across campus.
We are accepting viewpoints,
letters to the editor or
other commentary for publication
on this page. Only with
your ideas will the uR-1 truly
be able to serve as the
springboard for intelligent,
creative and otherwise stimulating
discourse.
Please send letters typed and
double-spaced (or on a
macintosh disk) to our offices
at 142 Gunson the Friday
before publication ..
Letters may be edited for
clarity and become property
of the uR-1. They will not be
returned.
So get cracking.
JIOWCOM'_
surt'RH~R..0€°$
~E'"ER ltAV&:'
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lfAl~?lf
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:Please let us know, send this card to our offices at 142 I
IGunson St. with any criticisms, comments or suggestions I
lor other things you believe will enhance our ability to serve I
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_________ 8 • Re orter-lntelli encer · 27 September, 1989
Neither a he nor a she, a star is born
M.L.
Elrick
first, but we~· we had no choice .
but to love It no matter how much
trouble It-was or h<>W unruly It might
become. .
Unlversl-D wanted to call It "The
Word• or something else catchy and
brief. I wanted someting more traditional.
So we named It after my greatgreat
grandfather.
Horatio Alger Mencken Hearst
Kane Pulitzer Reporter-lntelligencief.
He was. a fine man, even If he
· . used ,to get beat up a lot.
"Mr. Elrick, Mr; Steams . . . It's an , After watching It grow for five
it.•
What?
After recovering from the Initial
shock Universi-D and I realized we
had witnessed the birth.of an unusual
~ecimen. An· extraordinary specimen.
A troublesome specimen. A specimen
overly laden with names.
A newspaperspecimen.
We weren't sure what to do 8t
months, we decided to let It out of the
attic and Into the real world.
. A world of dog-eat-dog competition.
A world resplendent with callousness
and fierce injustice.
A world that waited til you were
· down to boot you In the small of the
neck.
We figured the world had time
enough to toughen Itself up for uR-1.
It has been said by some that the
motivation for this enterprise was
~8.
But only the most pernicious,
viciously cynical slug-eating fartbiter
would actually believe this.
Listen, honeybaby, no spite flame
bums long enough or hot enough to
give off the heat an enterprise like this ·
req~lres.
Spite doesn't have the stamina to
·get one through a project like this.
It takes talent, dedication, desire,
gusto, sheer balls-but especially
good people who put themselves,
their honor, their effort on the line to
do something they believe In.
People like Tresa Baldas, David
Steams, Matthew Goebel, Steve Lacy,
Delaine Wright, Tim Parfitt and so
many more that should be thanked
and aJ)plaudSd but cannot be because
of space constraints.
· And there are many on the uR-1
limb who wHI be pulled in today. Let It
be said this is the Freddy Krueger of ·
journalism: the bastard son of a
thousand maniacs.
But remember, our daws are
rapier-sharp and non-discriminating.
It's ours and we love it.
There were some who said It
couldn't be done; no one could put out
a newspaper with no financial backing
0r sponsorship from some wealthy
benefactor.
Who would advertise in a nonexistent
newspaper? Who would write
for it, shoot photographs, create art?
I guess they were right, nobody In
their right mind would.
· I guess they were right, it's too
much trouble and too outlandish.
.1 guess they were right, let's just
forget the whole thing. ·
- Elrick ill executive editor of the
uR-1, and •pent this •um mer in /amaze
cl---.
M·su: The new hoIDe of the Medellin?
David
Stearns
It's a scene you could see one
dayatMSU.
I can hear the talking head on the
idiot box now ...
"One MSU freshman was shot
twice in the head and two others
received minor Injuries when the trio
attempted to smuggle a case of
Falstaff beer to their room In Hubbard
Hall.
·ops officials believe the hit was
the result of a beer-deal gone awry,
as the freshmen attempted to leave
the scene of an Illegal alcoholic
beverage transaction.
-Tuey apparently had arranged to
purchase beer from two legal-aged
students but had failed to pay for an
earliertransadion. DPS officials say
they have no suspects.•
It sounds far-fetched and probably
Is, but It's about as ludicrous as
MSU's ability. to enforce its new
alcohol policy on campus.
En loco parentis syndrome Is
rearing Its ugly head on campus once
again. What's next? Are the residence
halls and student life administrators
going to follow In the footsteps
of Boston University and prohibit
students from having cvemight
guests?
HeA, If students can't get drunk
anymore, might as well let them be
frustrated, too. In fact, why not outlaw
dancing? Footloose was one of the
. most Inspirational movies I've ever .
seen.
The underlying issue here Is not
whether the university should offer Its
services to problem drinkers. It
st)ould. But do you see Alcoholics
Anonymous dragging people in front
of a smoke-filled auditorium and
forcing someone to admit their
Dade Priageon Reed· sawyer
. disease?
If university officials think outlawing
alcohol In the dormitories - er,
excuse me, residence halls - ls going
to limit the amount of excessive
drinking occurring on campus, It's
tlm,e for them to wake up and take a
cold shower.
sehool that resident assistants bust
every keg party or •common source·
, party that they see,
Statistics show that the United
State5 only is able to intercept about
one percent of Illegal narcotics such
as cocaine, crack and heroine from
entering the country. ·And that might
And If a policy doesn't meet It's
stated objective, It's a flawed one and .
should be reconsidered.
be pushing it, even with the war on
drugs. I can't imagine many resident
assistants wanting to be associated
Of course, MSU administrators
probably will argue that alcohol really
. Isn't being outlawed on campus,
becau~ 21-year-old dorm rats still
will be able to pursue their legal right
to get annihilated.
Fine. Now the question is, what
percentage of on-campus students
are under 21 ? And how many legalaged
students live on floors with
minors, yet still enjoy socializing with
them 8S either neighbors or even
roomates?
Does the term pimping ring a
bell?
Another justification for the policy
may be that underage drinkers are
breaking a state law. But that's a
matter tor the police, not resident
,assistants. It's the biggest joke at this
Weiss WilbUr
with an Attack on Amstel or a Repeal
• Rolling Rock crusade.
Resident assistants have an
important job to do, rJnning the gamit
from counseling to breaking up fights ..
Why aeate an even greater air of
mistrust and antagonism by forcing
them to becx>me prohibitionist keystone
kops, running around looking
for keg parties?
Many don't do It, most GBn't do it,
and none of them shou Id have to do
It. It's n'ot their job, so,change the
policy.
Otherwise, MSU could become
the next Colombia.
- Stearns i. m•tlllging editor foi' the
uR-1 •nd wu c.ught during his sophomote
year trying to anHk • "-g to the
fifth flaorof Wnt Ak~rsHall.
Owen DiBiaggio
Geek{s) of the Week
Sorry Board of Trustees {and President DiBiaggio). We know you're In a bind, but for yet another tuition Increase, no
left-minded student·Journallst wou:ld pasa up the opportunity to put the blame on those nearest to our heart Board of
Trustees, as at-1artge elected offlclala from acrosa the state, it's fine time for you to initiate some responsible spending
on campus. That hasn't been a top priority yet, obviously, so for that you've qualified as the uR-l's first Geek{s) of the
Week. Oh, we almost forgot We recognize the legislature's substantial Involvement In our Indebtedness, too. Unfortunately,
It waa loglstleally prohibitive to print the photos of every •nator and representative from across the state.
' • • • • • • ~ • • • • • • ~ • • • " "' • _. • "' ,. " ,._ II • " • • # ' , # ~ ., " " /. , . .. . . . '.,., "'",.,' ""'
27 September, 1989 9 • Reporter-Intelligencer
Prominent folks beg·in countdown to Lash
What the people In the know have
to say about the return of celebrated,
chastised and oft-misunderstood bard
C. Patric •Lash• L.arrowe to the
journalistic hemisphere .. While most
of the below-mentioned folks were
candid and stopped swearing after
they heard the news, these comments
should be taken with a minute boulder
of salt.
A grain that would make Arnold
Swarzenburgemeger bust a nut.
Kelley Root-:- ·1 thought we got
rid of him already!•
· . John DiBiagg io - •tt•s good to
know Lash is back stirring up controversy
on campus. It's men like Lash
that help this fine AAU-L.and grant
university maintain Its excellence as
we strive to become the premier
research university of the 1990's. •
~ John Cantlon- •rve been trying
.Have at it!
Did Rick's attempt to kill all their
rodents with an over-powering dose of
Polo, or is that just the new clientele?
Let's talk football for a minute (and
then run for a lot longer later):
Why don't you ever see a football
player looking for a parking space on
campus?
Speaking of cars, the Provocateur
wonders ~en was the last time you
saw a student who could afford a gold
Mercedes?
Of course: with a scholarship you can
use your money fOr other things ... such
as a celluar phone to call professors
for assignments.
Hey, do you have to dial an 8 to get
off campus when you're driving in a
gold Mercedes with a car phone?
Then again, do you ever see a football
player on campus?
Why don't you ever see any squirrels
for years to get out of this university
for years. Hell, I retired two years
ago, and here's this old coot trying to
stick around! They boost him and I'm
still here. Hey Lash, got any pointers?"
Wordamlth-·Laaash, what was
It like (oh tell me please I've got to. .
know) for those three long months
without writing? But really, man, bop's
glad to have you back; never giving
the establishment any slack. Irie.•
Opal Tanya Gazdik- ·1 just love
Lash. Next to Walter Adams he's the
sexiest man on campus. And you
know what? He loves me, too! He
really does.See, our signs are compatible
and we like the same food, and
we both breathe and .. .-
ACLU - •1t would be in the best ~
Interests of ·everybody if we witheld
comment at this time. You see, Lash
has a few misgivings about this flagburning
thing·, being a-real patriot and
all. To issue a statement at this
juncture would be most Imprudent and
The
Provocateur
-running around by do~ cafeterias?
Back to the bars. We love the Riv, but
do they own any tapes otherthari Aja
·by Steely Dan?
OK, Pete, (of Pinball fame) We're not
fooled by the mask.
may jeopardize our case with Judge·
H8nslovsky .•
Ronald Reagan-•ves, well,
Lash? Well, Mommle and I are very
pleased with the way George Is
decorating the White House. It's a joy
to see young Danny-boy playing on
the South Lawn. Lash? Yes, well, um,
It was a horse in Mexico. That's
somewhere near France. Wanna see
my scar? My brain hurts:
uR-1-'Welt, we asked Lash to
· write again because he's the only guy
around with a shorter name than ours.
Plus, he works for free and doesn't
ask for mileage. Right, buddy?"
George Perlea - ·1 don't know
much, but l'lltellya this, brudder, that
Lash Is a hell of a guy. Reminds me of
Jack Lambert. Good-family-man, good
values, good teeth. He's a real gamer,
brudder. Just wait, he'll still be in the
. bowl hunt late this season. Real clas5,
act, brudder: ·
Word has It that President DiBiagglo
has a two-hour layover at LA.X. on
his trips to Asia. During the brief stop
at Tinseltown, the prez has been ,
- sitting in as a look-alike stunt double
for Grandpa Munster. Just kidding,
Drac.
. -
Someone tet a bat In here? Hey, get
that thing off of me!!· -
We've railed on the university for
unwise spending practices. But It's
time that some money be spent in a
real important area- lights outside of
. the Union. It's only a matter of time
before someone Is either attacked or
breaks their frigging neck walking
down the steps.
Look, the Provocateur realizes this is
a-rough start, but he hasn't gotten any
sleep for three days putting this thing
together. · ·
So cut him some slack, jack! (Even
though he wouldn't do the same for
you).
William F~ Buckley-Undoubtedly,
Mr. L.arrowe is one of the most
subversive elements to appear since
the McCarthy days. Under no circumstances
should this leftist, shall we
say, pink, Individual be allowed to
undermine the moral fiber of young
America. The very mention of his
name evokes images of words such
as degradation, infiltration, desecration,
irreveranceand, ludicrousity?"
Richard Lewie-"It's Wednesday,
I know know, I need a date, my
hair is falling out. Lash? He doesn't
wear leather, he's not 40 years old
and worried about getting laid. I don't
know, I'm stressing, he's funny. Am I
funny? My mother thinks so, I don't
know ... Hey, where's Letterman? .
Arsenio, baby!·
Tune in next week for the triumphant
return of Michigan State's most
outspoken columnist, Lash Larrowe.
· Episode number one; •Lash of the
Titans. ~ ·
Have a good season,
Jeffrey, #92. Love ,Jenny.
Thanks Barb Carr for joining
our group. Glen and Karen
DeVougd.
LIMITED OFFER!! ACT NOW
BEFORE SUPPLIES RUN OUT!!
Be a part of the uR-1 advertising
staff. Meet interesting·
people, travel to exotic,
far-away lands, and all for
little or no pay!! Call 351-
4899 for details.
MATIIE, IT'S BEEN A LONG
tirQe since I sow you pee
on the floor. I've heard
you've grown quite a bit,
but I haven't seen you in
eons. let's do lunch. How
about the Top Dog? And
no picking on big Tiff.
HEY, DOV, HOW DO you
like the rag? I tried to call
you In A-squared a couple
of weeks ago but we never
connected .. How's grad
school and such? Send up
a viewpoint or letter or
something. l'manxlousto
hear from you .. Dave.
JIM,l'M STILL WAITING FOR
THAT record review. How's
Beantowntreatingyou.?
Well, I hope Kee hasn •t
added to his out-of-state
collection. The address Is In
the paper,sogive me a
call or drop me o.line.
Dave.
KIM. HOW'S LIFE OFF OF THE
ROCK. or with a rock, you
might sat? Things are
cruising here. Nothing
exciting, really. How's
Andrew and Sharon?
Enough of the senseless
chatter though. See ya,
Cliff.
USA, USA. LISA, how are the
Arabians? I miss those
mornings at the H ·n Kat 7
a.m.TakeCare,Dave. I
didn •t forget you either.
Brenda. Thanks foran
awesome last weekend on
Martha's Vineyard. It was
the highlight of the summer.
MATilll HOW'S LIFE at the
Cape Cod Newspapers?
Hove you heard the new
24-7 Spies? Check It out
Keep up the excellent
wrftlng. You never got what
youdeservedthlssummer.
Schmoo. Schmave ..
Tlffer, It's been more than a
year together! Thanks you
beautlful bitch. You keep
mf bed warm and my yard
fuU. I love It when you
chase the balls in the living
room.
Diane Stanczak: a long
ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!
FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, the uR-1 will be offering classifieds
free of chargel What a total bargain, folks.
We will accept classifieds in many categories, including: personals,
wanteds, lost and founds, services (sought or offered),
roommates or housing.
Ads must be delivered to the uR-1 offices at 142 Gunson, no
later than 5 p.m. Wednesday to appear in the following week's
edition.
Ads should be legibly printed on lined-paper, preferably a 3-
by-5 index card.
Ads should be reasonable in length and the uR-1 reserves the
right to make any necessary editorial changes.
This offer is for a limited time only, so act quickly.
The uR-1 is your place to make contact with the services or
clients you need to get a hold of.
summer has come and
gone. I miss you and the
gang. Come to Michigan
and marry me.
How goes things In Harrisburg,
Mutch? I hope all is
going wen. I tried to call,
but you weren't there and I
just haven't had the time to
catch up.on things. Oh.
and about that $70 ...
Who could forget the great
exhaltedToastmaster
General of the United
States. Guam, the Virgin
Islands and associated
territories? Not II How· s it
goin'. holmes?
To the Men and Women of
The Morning Call: see. I told
you we· d get this thing off
the ground!
Hey. fishmonger! How goes
things with the Bethlehem
Township posse? Bust any
moves lately? Things here
are frantic. and we could
use y0ur sharp eyes on the
copy desk. but It's moving
right along. Still want those
towels back?
Matt C.: I still hate your
putrid Wolverines. but It's
nice to know I'm friends
with one of the few humans
on that god-forsaken
campus. Yeech. Hang
loose.
Hey, news assistants! I finally
got a regular phone number
and regular desk. Pretty
Impressive, eh?
The Phillies suck (but not as
bad as the Tigers) I
ToChrls.Jackle,Hughand
H. Dawson: much gratitude
for a good summer and the
freedom to get lots of
things done. Believe It or
not. I think I learned a thing
orrwo wnn youse guys.
Give mf best to Nancy.
Dear Kelleye: Die.
Delaine. Delaine, Delaine,
Delaine. You are a saint
and we have owe you so
much .... but wiH a stylebook
and a pizza do?
Tillie~ Freddie (Cool Breeze)
and Hega: you are three of
a kind of a one of a kind.
Hang in there.
Happy 23rd BELMO! From
your friends at MSU: Tresa.
Susie (pseudo Spartan).
Christina, Nancy. Chris,
Leslie. Tom, Tony and your
brother ,Steve.
DINING ROOM table. $25;
area rug. S 15; Call 337-
7587.
'79 LINCOLN Town Car.
Collector's Serles. NC; AMI
FM quadraphonic sound;
PS/PB; power seats; power
doors; powerwindows;
power trunk release;
POWEREVERVTHING. Good
set of Michelin whitewall
tires, turbine rims. Four door.
Navy blue cream puff with
some rust. Accepting best
offer. Call 351-4899 and ask
for Mike.
'84 Eurosportwagon.
Excellent condition; NC;
AM? /FM qucx:I sound; PS/
PB; new General XP 2000
high preforrnance tires;
sllverwlth maroon Interior
(excellent condition). $4500
or best offer; Coll 351-4899
or 313-331-7915 and ask for
Mike or Karen.
55 gallon aquark.m with
two Jets. two light spots and
rocks. Two African cichilids.
Price negotiable. Call Tom
at 332-864 1.
$~~VI]~~$~
W«lll7\1fr®~ @Ii' @g ...
g®!l'@DINO'S PIZZA 515 W. Grand
River Ave. hiring drivers,
phone help/pizza makers.
Apply within.
EL AZTECO Hiring cooks.
dishwashers and bussers for
immediate employment.
Apply within at 203 MA.C.
or 1016W.Saginaw.
BIG BOY on Trowbridge
Road is looking for an
experienced breakfast
cook for weekends. Call
anytime. ask for Dirk. 351-
5132.
EVERGREEN GRILL now
hiring cooks/dishwashers.
Applywlthln. 237 Abbott
Roact.
GOOD TIMES PIZZA needs
drivers. Call351-1515and
ask for Carson or George.
HARRISON ROADHOUSE
hiring line cooks. Experienced
only. Apply In
person at 720 Michigan
Ave. Ask folDave.
COOKS. WAITSTAFF
needed. TlkiTop Restaurant.
7149 E. Saginaw.
Apply within. (Across from
JHlette Trailers.)
PRETZEL BELL 1020 Trowbridge,
hiring a lunch cashier,
11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Lunch
waitresses/Walters, parttime
bartender for evenings.
App!V within or caH 351-
0300.
HERSHEY'sSTEAKAND
SEAFOOD 2682 E. Grand
River .. Dishwasher, busser
needed. Apply within or
call 337-7324. Ask for Chris.
USACAFE.4750S. Hagadorn.
Hiring cooks.daytime
floor host. cashiers. Call
332-1952orapplywlthin.
THE VARSITY needs cooks.
Experience preferred.
Apply within at the corner
of Grand River Avenue and
Spartan Street.
THE UNION BARBER SHOP
specializes in au types of
hair. Come by and see us
in the lower level of the
Unin Building. See our add
elsewhere in the uR-1.
SPARTAN TRAVEL can take
you where you want to go.
Call us at 351-1080.See our
add elsewhere in the uR-1.
I HA VE A GUITAR that I
can't play. Please teach/
work with me to create
songs. Tastes range from
folk to new wave. Call
Peterat 351-4885.
INGHAMCOUNTYM.AD.D.
wants you to drive safely
and sober. Call487-MADD.
See our add elsewhere in
theuR-1.
VISIT CURRIES UNISEX SALON
at 408 E. Grand River. See
our ad elsewhere in the uR-
1.
ESPRESSO ROY ALE CAFFE
features fine cappuccino.
excellent ser"lfice and
enjoyable surrondings. 226
Abbot Rd. See our ad
elsewhere in the uR-1.
PROBLEM PREGNANCY?
Pro-choice office across
from campus. No movies.
no coercion. Across from
the Union. WOMANCARE.
332-1066.
NERIO'S HAIR AND NAIL
MASTERS features personalized
quality workmanship
for men, women and
children. See our add
elsewhere in the uR-1.
TAKE THE PLUNGE at Clearwater
Spa. 138 Linden St. A
hot tub time out may be
just what you need! See our
ad elsewhere In the uR-1.
ARTWORKSat 119N. Harrison
features quality multicolor
screen printing. See
. our ad elsewhere in the uR-
1.
HAIRDRESSERS NEEDED!
Fulltimeor parttime. Flexible·
hours. PATRICIAN'S HAIR
F~IONS. 309 MA.C., East .
Lansing. 337-1114.
GRABASTALUON BURGER
with fries for only $2. 99
every SUnday at the Land~
shark. For a schedule of this
week's entertainment ,see
our ad elsewhere In the uR-
1.
GAAY'SCAMPUSHAIR
SALON Is a cut above, yet
priced below. Located at
549 E. Grand River. See our
ad elsewhere in the uR-1.
MSUSA;D.D; CHAPTER.
Room 14AStudentServtces.
For information caH: 353-
0061 or 353-5509.
KAU'SCOTIONSat Frandor
Is having a back to school
special. See our coupon
. elsewhere in the. uR-1.
DAVID ZUMBERG is an
experienced hairstylist
ready to offer you personal
attention. CollforDavid at
337-1114.See his ad elsewhere
In the uR-1.
HEY, BE ON lVI Open
auditions for THE SHOW - a
coHege-basedsttcom. Oct.
5, 1989 7 p.m. 147 CommArts.
For Information call
35.1-0668.
STUDIO 241, Inc. can dolt
all for your perional appearance.
Walk-inswelcome.
See our ad elsewhere
In the uR-1.
TOP DOG IS THE PlACE for
free nachos on orders over
$6 accompanied by our
coupon located elsewhere
lntheuR-L
LIKE CVTIK/~S.'
MEET THE WOMAN of your
dreams ... sleep! §®® ]])fi®Jk 1IDTID.;f
[ID J]). [ID cdl Il J]). lt Iln ~ lt CHECK OUT THE OLIN
HEALTH CENTER,conwnlently
located on campus
by Berkey Hall. See any of
our three ads elsewhere In
theuR-1. CID lt Ih1 ®Jr J1D [ID]1D ®Jr o o o
§®® JD)ii®Jk ~ltun©Jk wnltlbJ.
lt Iffi [ID lt 0 'J 41 JF CID Jr cdl JP Il mllt CID o o o
DON'T BE A DICK
rEJ!"NAOE SEX.' (NOTE:
ALL OF .THESE. C.OMIC.
BIG BABV IS TM.E MOST
TMRILLING AND
MILARIOUS COMIC. ,
STR t'P YOU'LL EVIA
ReAC>! MOW C.AN t
MAKE TMIS C.l..AIM?
$,MP~E.' !JIG 8A8Y
Ml, I'M TONV DELMONTO.,,
SOMETIMES MEAN 6UVS
CALL. ME 816 BABY ...
CMARAC.TERS ARE OVER
Ef6MTEEN Y&ARS OF A6E!)
BUT I'M NOT A BABV •• ,
.. REAL.f...V,
. OFFERS l!VllRYTlllNG
TMAT YOU, TME
Of5C.ERNING REAC>&.R
DEMANllS FROM A
C.OMIC! LIKE WNAT
VOU ASK?
TMAT'.S NOT ALL.' BtG BA&V
FEATURES A CAST OF SOME OF
TME MOST POPULAR C.MARACTERS
IN T~E HISTORY OF C.OMICS! L.IK&
DD6/10Yl
••• El. BDRIJAN.'
BV TME WAV, I FORGOT
TO TEl,.I,.. vou ... I'VE GOT
·. KOOTIES,
ANP ... UH.,,WMO ARE TMESE GUV5?
ANVWAV, Sl.T BACK AND WAIT
• . A WEEK ... AN EXC.ITING NEW
.STORY IS C.OMl.NG YOUR. WAY!
OUT AND
A~.QJJ.Il
Each week, the uR-1 will feature a section
called Out And Aboul In it you will find
listings of local entertainment happenings
ranging from bands playing at local
nightclubs to plays on and off campus.
We also will include concert updates for
theatres and arenas in East Lansing, Ann
Arbor and metro DetroiL Considering our
relatively "unhip" ways, please contact us
about other happening places, events, etc ..
so that we may include them in this
section. Bars, read: This is basically free
advertising, so send us some press
packets.
•
Rick's American Cafe:
Tonight: Bom Naked, with vocals by
Phil Garner
Thursday, Sept. 28: Ash Can Van Go
Friday, Sept. 29: Big Daddy Kinsey and
Ole Kinsey Report
Saturday, Sept. 30: The Samaritans
Sunday, Oct. 1: Jerry Sprague.
Sensations:
Tonight: The Wayouts, with
special guest Ted White.
Small Planet:
Thursday night blues, featuring Born
Naked.
The Landshark:· ·
Tuesday, Oct. 3: L.A. Duke Trio
P.T. O'Malley's:
Friday and Saturday: The Knaves
St. Andrew's Hall, Detroit:
Thursday, Sept. 28: Burning Spear
Friday, Sept. 29: Pop Wiil Eat Itself
Royal Oak Music Theatre:
Tuesday, Oct 3: The The
Wharton Center For The
Performing Arts:
Tonight through Sunday, Oct. 1 :At the
Great Hall, a Broadway musical, titled
Into Tlte W oodr , a new musical based on
storybook characters like Cinderella,
Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel and
Jack and The Beanstalk. Winner of the
1988N.Y. Drama Critics Circle Award,
the 1988 Drama Desk A ward and three
1988 Tony Awards.
MSU's Fairchild Theatre:
Tonight: Opening night in the MSU
Chamber Music Series featuring the
Guarneri String Quartet..
Peace Education Center:
Tonight: A meeting for East Lansing
residenti with sister city La Libertad,
Nicaragua at 7:30p.m.
Thursday, Sept. 28: Animal Farm., George
Orwell's movie depicting the totalitarian
aftennath of a barnyard revolution that is
dominated by the local pigs. Part of the
Peace Education Center's free film series.
Also Thursday night will be "Boom," a 10
minute, animated look at the arms raee.
Friday, Sept. 29: Meeting of the Committee
for Education on Latin America at 7
p.m.
MSUUnion:
Friday, SepL 29:SouthemAfrica Libenltion
Committee meeting at 1:30 p.m.
r·····················································., I I
I I
I I
I I i Speaking of getting out and about, the staff and i
i friends of the uR-1 are just as ready to bash into i I I i the new school year as you are (but twice as i
i likely to blow their own horn and in the paper, i
I · I : too) so... :
I I i you are cordially invited to help baptise the cam- i
i pus' alternative and truly independent voice at a· i i fete commemorating the uR-1. i
i There will be live music and plenty o' radical, i
i 60s hippie-type fun, man. i
i Bring this certificate to 142 Gunson this Friday i I . I i (Sept. 29) and consider yourself invited to what i
i promises to be the event of the week. Or at i
i least of Friday evening. See you there... i I I
I I
I I
L•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••.I
27 September, 1989 Reporter-Intelligencer· 13
The Deans: lntlfMliOM
The new tape by TIM DHna,
Inventions, continues to hone the
sound they have defined previously.
Sounding somewhat like R.E.M.,
they use the dean-edged, singleguitar
notes to put the main melody
into their songs.
This is by no means an R.E.M.
rip-off band, though. May Molleman's
vocals add a kind of empty, hollow
sound.to the music.
Throw in catchy bass lines, a tasty
rhythm section, solid rhythm guitar,
and The Deans got a cassette that is
just plain fun.
"The Maverick• is a great example.
With the prairie sounding riffs,
it makes you want to get off your
horse and eat stew outdoors.
The tape sports two instrumentals,
"A Piece of Wood,• and "Wendel's
Apprentice .• Like the rest of the
songs, they are catchy and dancy.
The most impressive song on the
tape is "Searching,· sounding tight
and very professional. Talent is
definitely shining through.
"Tunnel Raragain makes its
appearance, as it did on the other two
tapes. Seems the boys like the song.
Kinda' bluesy, kinda hollow, kinda
Deans.
So go out, plop $5 down, slam it
into your walkman, and dance to the
Deans' until they appear at Rick's
aga!n.
Then see them live.
- T1111othyPetfitt
For Reservations
Call the
HOT TUB
HOT LINE
332-6318
(located corner of Grove & Linden
near Dooleys)
Greater Lansing's
BEST
Hot Tub Experience
Features:
•indoor/outdoor tubs
•7 private tubs
•tanning booths
•sauna
•gift certificates for all occasions
The Ume Gianta:At Home
With TIHJ Lime Giants
Laid down In somebody's living
room In Lansing onto a two-track with
no ovef'dubs or editing, At Home With
Ths Lime Giants bounces with the"
kinetic charge of live performance.
TIM Lime Giants, comprised of
guitarist Chris Cline, bassist Mark
Mowllns, drummer Pat Bills and singer
Mark Demming, offer up eight keepers
here that just get better and better
with each listen.
The Limes specialize In upbeat, .
instantly likeable tunes built around
catchy hooks and solid playing.
Encompassing a range of styles,
me&hing pop, SO's rock and punk,
these guys coma out sounding if not
progressive, at least fresh.
"Sensation Time• and "Something
Better" rock fast and hard on the heels
of some powerful chords, while midtampo
numbers like the lead-Off track
•Learn Whan You Bum· contain
enough clever lickS and riffs to be
continually pleasing. And just when
you're having fun with alHhat, the
Limes even can make ya laugh out
loud with ridiculous love songs and
odes to the wonders of angling. So
what's not to like?
Hopefully this is just the beginning
for this band which has the ·
potential t-0do even greater things.
By the ~y, don't tMi. scared by the
lack of production. The sound Is
surprisingly dear and bright.
-JO#ISchmldt
Mondays SHARK WA VE
a piece brass)
Tues., Oct.3 .•..........••.• L.A. Duke Trio
Fri.-Sat., Oct. 6 & 7 .............. Souvenir
Tues., Oct. 10 ................ The Wayouts
Fri., Oct 13 ........... The Chisel Brothers
Tues., Oct. 17 ...................... Souvenir
Fri., Oct. 20 .................... The Wayouts
Tues., Oct. 24 ................. Mike Ridley
Tues., Oct.31 ....... The Chisel Brothers
SUNDAY SPECIAL
St.allion Burger w/Fries
(1(2 ground b~ef w/bacon, s\Viss, cheddar,
· •.• ·.· . . Draft or $hot'q' Schnapps
Only $2:.99
(till 10:00 pm).
Shot 'n' Beer $1.50 All Night!
The Landshark
is at 101 E. Grand River (Abbott & Grand
River) •East Lansing
Awesome Sandwiches• Oysters •Shrimp•
Mussels
Home of the SHARKBOWL!
j i
The Doe Boys: Today
Is It live or Is It The Doe Boys ?
To see The Doe Boys live Is
thrlHing; to capture that excitement
onto tape Is a difficult task.
The Doe Men have done it again.
Thelrlatesttape, Todaycontains
very well produced studio versions of
the original songs known to those who
meander into Rick's while the bands a
blastin'.
The tape falls Into things with the
title cut, "Today,•with lead vocalisV
guitarist Johnny Jozwiak singing
"Don't know what I wanna be/Don't
know what I wanna be today,· and
continues on with the next track,
"Restlessness,· with "RestlessmanJ
Restlessman• being repeated over
and over within the song.
These lyrics might seem whinny,
but combined with the dynamics of
Jozwia.k's vocals and the intensity of
the band, they come of very sincere.
Most of them being MSU grads
could explain some of the turmoil, but
The Boys don't stay in the same track
though.
Other songs, such as "Harrisburg
Pennsylvania,· are comical and
satirical.
The song, about the Treasurer of
Pennsylvania, R. Bud Dwyer, shooting
his head off in front of the press, is
dark comedy with "his brains on the
pew/and on my shoe•, ends with a
aowdclapping.
TI:1e band's music Is presented on
a strong supports of a Cure'ish,
REM'ish, new-wave'ish style, but to
classify It would be a disservice. It
would be much better to say they are
a guitar-based band, with occasional
sythisizerwhen needed.
The Doe Boys are a band ready to
break Into something bigger-or at
least deserve to.
See them, buy the tape.
Buy the tape, see them.
Or It could become too late.
- Timothy Perfitt
the
uR-1
NEWS-OPINIONENTERTAINMENT
EVERY WEDNESDAY
2411,inc
24 IEast Saginaw• East Lansing
lower level 241 Building
hair/nail care for women/
men, children
•beard/mustach